The Barking Trickster
by cyrusII
Summary: There are some summoning contracts you can fight tooth and nail for. Some you can earn through heroic deeds. No doubt that there are a few passed down from generation to generation. There are even a few you can steal. This isn't a story about one of those
1. Canis Latrans

_**Salutations internet fanfiction junkies. Now first of all this idea was originally thought up by crazydemonfox and the original person who adopted it is **_**_Takaiteishu Naruto. I do not claim this idea as my own as all. While I don't claim it, doesn't mean I won't write it. It's a good idea and it has piqued my interest. I have much faith that me and Takaiteishu Naruto can make two different versions of the same idea. If it becomes a problem for some unforeseen reason, I will take down my story shrug. _**

_**Now onto the story! I was considering putting more, as in much more, in the prologue but I decided against it. I wanted to put a little taste of what you can expect from the story and keep it short. Really long prologues just make me wanna gouge my eyes out. If you like what you read, you should enjoy the rest of the story... hopefully. I've got about half of Chapter 1 done, so expect an update soon.**_

**_I own nothing, just so you know. Well I own my dog and cat I suppose...  
_**

* * *

_The Barking Trickster_

Prologue: Canis Latran

* * *

A young blonde haired boy cackled, well as much as a seven year old could cackle, as he ran full speed away from Hospital. Moments later several loud screams and even louder curses rang through the town of Konohagakure from said Hospital.

The next second a very irate, plain looking man rushed through the doors the blonde boy had just came through and stopped. His angry mood was clear to even the untrained eye. He seemed to be searching for something and one thing was for sure…

The blond brat responsible for releasing the pig in his arms labeled #2 and three others was going to pay.

"NARUTO!" The man screamed to the heavens, but the heavens showed no mercy as thunder cracked in the distance and rain began falling slowly but surely.

He looked down at the squealing pig in his arms, "Where the hell did he even get four pigs?"

The man grumbled and sat the pig down. The next moment he was dashing off down the street the boy now named Naruto had taken.

He didn't notice two blue eyes peek from under a trashcan lid in the alley he just ran by.

"Suckers." The people in the streets felt satisfaction, pride and no small amount of devious intent coming from a trash can in a near by alley. That was preposterous though so they went about their way to get out of the rain.

The two blue eyes peeked up once again and studied the surrounded area.

"Coast is clear!"

They boy, Naruto it appeared, hopped out of the trash can and dusted his already dirty clothes off. Thunder sounded in the distance again, heralding a rise in the level of rain.

"Dang! I'm so far away from home too!" Naruto pulled his shirt up over his head and dashed off in his home's direction.

He utterly missed the snickering shadow that watched him from atop the building he had just been under.

"Te'telo…" A second figure made its self know.

The figure known as Te'telo swung it's head around and looked right at speaker

"Yo, bro! I didn't notice ya there!"

"Te'telo…" the 'bro' let out a sigh. "Just what are you doing out here? You were suppose to back a month or two ago."

"Oh man! I totally forgot!" Te'telo let out a grin. It would be very surprising to anyone else to see said figure grinning, as they wouldn't believe a strange wolf like thing could grin that way at all.

What stood hunched over in the rain casting his eyes around the peaceful town was a wolfish animal. Though people would say if it was a wolf, it wasn't much of one. Light brown fur and smallish… for a wolf. Luckily for him, he wasn't a wolf or a dog for that matter. The only distinguishing feature was a dark brown, almost black spot on the animal's brow.

Though his green, near hazel, eyes danced with something not unbecoming of the greatest of tricksters.

"'Telo, mother been worried sick about you." The unnamed other figure emerged the shadows. He was much like the other one, but not quite. His fur was much darker, and he was a size bigger.

The dark furred one walked over in a laze meant for better days and very calmly smacked the other one over the top of the head.

"Oww! What was that for Truok!" He buried his nose under his paws, faking agony.

"For being stupid and wasting time around such a…" He let his eyes rove over the rainy city. "Dump."

Te'telo let out a grin and peeked through his claws. "Oh no doubt there bro, but there are a few surprises."

The figure now named Truok's ears perked up slightly, only to fall back down from the rain.

"Like what exactly?" He lazed as he walked past the still grounded Te'telo and surveyed the alley they were over.

"Hehehe…" Truok found himself being assaulted by the patented _" I'm 'Telo and I know something you don't!"_ laugh.

"Damnit Te'telo!" He rounded on his brother, only instead to find the boy who was just in the alley way looking up at him with big, round blue eyes.

"What tha…" Truok back pedaled for a moment.

The boy let out a very wolfish grin.

"Oh haha, very funny." There was… not really a shift. More of a slide. A slide accompanied by the sound of water going down a drain. The boy simply slide into the form of Te'telo.

"You saw that boy right?" He was still grinning.

"Yea? So what of him?"

"He's…" Te'telo's grin changed into a smirk and he looked in the direction the boy had just ran off to. "...entertaining."

Truok's eyes widened in comprehension. The left corner of his mouth twitched up for a second.

"Elaborate, oh dearest brother Te'telo." He faked a small curt bow. Truok's sarcasm was the only thing that kept Te'telo from declaring that thing in front of him was not in a relative of his in any way.

"Gladly!" There was another slide. In Te'telo's place now sat a large frog, with a small dark mark on his brow. Truok let out a sigh.

"What!? This form feels so good in the rain!" The frog immediately shot out at Truok's sigh. There was a second slide and another frog, a size bigger, was sitting where Truok was just a moment ago.

"That it does, brother. Now go on."

"Alright alright!" The frog raised a webbed hand and stroked it's hairless chin in a decisively comical manner. A moment later his head popped up and the proverbial light bulb turned on over his head.

"First off, the kid's got a fun mind."

If a frog could quirk an eyebrow, the Truok-turned-frog would have right now.

"For instance?"

"You saw that man running by right?" A curt, froggly nod.

"Well he was looking for the kid because of a little… trick." The frog made an attempt at a grin.

"He…?" Truok prompted.

"He let loose three pigs in a Hospital after some human lady at the front was a bit more than nasty to him. He numbered them to with paint, even #1, #2, and #4."

Truok deadpanned the most obvious question, "… why did he skip three?"

"So they would spend all their time hunting a fourth pig that never existed to begin with." Te'telo said, followed by gurgling sounds that could be interpreted as laughter. The rain came down to a small drizzle.

The now-frog named Truok blinked several times before admitting, "Clever. Kunula-sama would like it."

"True and that's not the only one."

"He's done more than that, brother?"

"Yep, yep, yep!" The frog hopped up into the air and grinned as he came face to face with his brother. "What do you think I have been doing for the past few months?"

Truok's froggy eyes widened. "You're serious about this aren't you?"

Truok was treated to a spectacle that day. His brother, the (in)famous Te'telo was quiet and in contemplation. While such a serious expression on a frog was unbecoming, everyone decided to leave it alone.

"Hmmmm..." Te'telo's eyes were closed for a moment, giving him an expression suited for the older and more wizened. "Yes."

The rain came all the way down to small sprinkle and a ray of sunshine suddenly cut through the clouds and landed between the two frogs. There was another shift. A black bird with a lighter colored mark on its brow hopped it's way over to the ledge. It let out a "kaw!" before turning back to the now singular frog.

"I'm quite serious." With that he turned his head back and spread his pitch black wings.

It paused it's pre-flight preparations.

"It's been too long since the Coyote tribe has had a summoner..." He turned his head upwards to the sky and admited earnestly. "...And the kid really is entertaining."

With a hop and a flap, the black bird took flight.

The frog let out another sigh.

"I guess we are going to see Oko." Another shift, and a second black raven entered the sky, chasing after his troublesome brother.

* * *

**TBC.**

* * *

_**Author's Notes:**_

_**And there is the beginning of some rough times for Konoha. Shapeshifting!Naruto anyone? I'll tell you right now, it won't be lacking in the humor.**_


	2. Walik is Serious Business

**_The first real chapter to my soon to smash hit The Barking Trickster (patent pending). I am still in need of a beta and I am weary of this sites system. I would rather not take my chance and end up with someone who doesn't know a synonym from an acronym.  
_**

**_Please enjoy._**

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_The Barking Trickster_

Chapter 1

'_Walik_' is Serious Business

* * *

**  
Somewhere on the Border of the Wind Country and the Bird Country  
**

* * *

The deserts heat and geography had surged into the country know as Bird. Though most of the country that housed so many different species of bird was mostly wooded areas, the desert was as relentless as it was long.

It was not an uncommon sight to see tiny black blots high in the sky, so no one particularly cared when two they noticed two birds streaking across the great blue. Little did they know the drama that went on above their heads.

"Awww come on, they are funny and you-"A raven with a small, white diamond shaped blot on his brow began.

"-Shut up, shut up shut up!" The second bird, a size bigger, cut the first bird off. "I get it, I get it! We are in bird country and oh my lookie here! WE ARE BIRDS! Utterly fucking hilarious!"

"Well then…" The first bird pouted. "I never!" The bird descended a little to get away from his irate brother.

"Good for nothing…" the second bird began mumbling under his breath.

"Hey, hey! There it is, right?" Truok, hearing is brothers call, focused his eyes down on a small patch of ground.

The ground of that area was covered almost entirely by tropical trees, and a tiny lake sat in the center. It was as if a jungle had sprung up around the water source. The two brothers knew that it had a little assistance though.

A single smoke stack rose up over the canopy. They both tucked in their wings and dove into the canopy. What greeted them was a strange hut. It was primarily made out of wood and the occasional animal furs but a metallic chimney sprang up in the center. It made a few strange twists and turns before the smoke came out of a funnel on top.

Te'telo decided to make himself known. "OKO! YOU OLD CODGER!"

The next second both of them found themselves in a strange situation.

Underground, in total darkness, and held by something with creepily hair legs.

Both quickly transformed into an animal with eyes made for the night. T'telo the cat and Truok the owl were greeted by a sight that was less than pleasant. They stared straight into the multiple eyes of a very large and very hairy spider.

"Joo children need to learn da ancient art of SHUTTIN' DA HELL UP!" The spider said out in a thick accent unlike anything this world had seen before.

"Oh, it's Oko…" They both said in unison while letting out a sigh of the utmost relief.

"And who da hell else wou'd be runnin' roun' lookin' like a big spieda?"

"About that…"

"Shhh boys." Oko silenced them as he lifted the ceiling, revealing them to be in a somewhat large hole in the ground with a liftable roof. Handy.

All of his eyes squinted.

He peered around before every hair on his spidery body stood up on end before he relaxed. Well they supposed he relaxed, hard to tell with giant insects, don't ya know. He let down the roof.

"Good, dey fell righ' for it." The big spider then let out a small chuckle.

"Errr…" Truok tried to formulate a question. He succeeded. "Who?"

"De enemies, dingle-berry. Dey been out der since joo left to find yo brudda."

"Enemies?" The brothers spoke in unison once again.

"Ja, ja. I's been lettin' 'em think I was in da hut dis entia time, keepin' that fiya goin' and all."

The cat and the owl nodded in agreement. It was a clever plan. Then again… Oko wasn't the brightest bulb in the knife drawer. Well… sanest at least.

"But, joo boys 'ere na. We's can joom righ' out and attack 'em tageda."

They eyed each other skeptically as Oko went on about something involving flanking maneuvers and if

they should use smoke signals to warn for help if they were captured alive.

The cat leaned over to his owl-brother and whispered out something from the side of his lip, "Ok, I say we go along. He is the shaman and keeper of the clan."

Te'telo immediately shot back, from the corner of his mouth of course, "Who's the crazy person, the insane one or the people who follow him?"

"Okay, on my mark…"

The moment of action was upon them though so further discussion was put to a halt. While not one for fighting, the Coyote tribe weren't exactly slouches and if someone had come forcefully into their territory…

"Go!" And with that the two brothers slid into their original forms and jumped straight out to find…

"Ok where's this enemy we are l-" Te'telo began but was rightly interrupted.

"DEY ABOVE YOU!" Oko flashed into a frog and jumped with all his might at a branch above them. He then became a large, dark colored creature with a large mouth. The clamping power of the creature was undeniable though as it soundly clamped down on the branch sending the broken off piece flying along with a … nest?

Two small, blue birds, obviously native to the Bird Country took off into the sky as their half-finished nest hit the ground.

"Das da good stuff!" Oko cheered as he assumed his original form, just several sizes smaller. A light colored coyote with strange markings flowing from his eyes to the tip of his tail grinned at the brothers.

"Joo boys were almost dead meat!" They could only stare, with their mouth half open.

"He's… h-he's kidding right?" Te'telo looked to his brother for an explanation but found none.

Oko seemed to be over the whole ordeal as he strode into his hut.

"Na, na. Da question dat be at da tips of my tongue is dis…" he began a second before he walked out the door, munching on some meat of unknown origins.

"Why did joo both come 'ere, when joo both know joo don' gotta to return home?" Oko, for all his executrices, wasn't a fool.

There are many things not know about summons and the mysteries surrounding them. One thing that is known, but only by a select few master summoners, is that many keepers of certain summoning contracts never leave the human world. For a tribe to reach the real world there would either need to have a summoner or a keeper of the contract to stay and act as a way point. Trans-dimensional traveling should never be taken lightly.

Many of these keepers are often mistaken for monsters or demons. A few rightfully earned that name. The keeper tends to be a being of great stature and importance in the tribe. Oko on the other hand, while indeed powerful and (almost paradoxly) wise, was made the keeper for a simple fact. He's bat shit crazy. The fact that he genuinely likes living in the human world was only icing on the cake for Oko.

"Well, Oko…" 'Telo let out a sly grin. "There reason I took so long on a routine mission-"

"By mission he means picking up grape fruit for Kunula-sama."

"Hey, Kunula-sama asked me to do it for a reason…"

"Cause he loves the stuff?"

"No, cause she loves the stuff."

"We aren't having this debate again; he was technically a man when he sired our own mother-"

"Na, na boys. Joo both know Kunula is far too old to rememba what Kunula was in da beginnin'." If anyone knew what exactly Kunula was, it was Oko. "Kunula is Kunula is Kunula."

"Pshh, whatever…"Te'telo flicked his ears in confusion. "Where was I?"

"You were saying why you got side tracked…" Truok let out a sigh.

"OH yea!" He rounded on Oko.

"I've found a person whose pretty…" Stupid pause for dramatic effect. "…Entertaining."

Oko's decorated eyes widened. He disappeared into his hut and returned with a strange blanket like thing.

"Oh shit…" Te'telo turned to his uncommonly foulmouthed brother.

"Huh, what is it bro?"

"The 'walik'" He said indicating to the blanket like thing.

"You wanna lick what?"

Their attention returned to Oko who had taken the form of a strange ape with a very red buttocks.

"Why didn' joo say dis sooner!? We coulda been on ours ways by na."

He leapt into the canopy, the 'walik' trailing from one hand.

"Hey!" Te'telo called as he chased after the monkey with the red buttocks. "Where are you going?!"

"Ta find da person of interest of course!" he called before cackling madly.

"But..." Te'telo was too slow though, as Oko reached the edge of the canopy and swung right out into the desert.

He swung both of his arms back, taking hold of the 'walik' and brought it down in a sweeping motion. The sand rose up to meet him and the moment he landed it began to simply… move. The ground was rolling under his feet and sped him off into the distance.

"But…"

Truok ran up to his brother's side.

"But what?" He asked.

"But… Te'telo then said with earnest bewilderment as he turned to his brother. "That's the wrong way."

* * *

Naruto sprung up the last two steps that led to his apartment's floor.

Today had to be his lucky day or something. It was pretty normal for the most part, right up until the old man visited him at Ichiraku's Ramen Stand.

He did a small, childish jig as he walked towards his apartment door. He even added a little singing.

"I'm going to the academy; I'm going to the academy…" The singing went along like this, even as he fumbled with his key and inserted it in the lock.

He walked straight in, his eyes practically closed. It's not like nothing incredibly unexpected would happen today.

Clang! Clack! Clang!

"Now dis is some interestin' stuff!" Naruto couldn't help but notice the strange monkey like thing banging the only two pots he had for making ramen together. It also seemed to have a cape on…

He then registered that he had indeed just heard it talk.

"Holy crap! His room smells horrible!" A second voice called from his bedroom.

He then took notice of the back end of some dog, with a wagging tail and all, was rummaging through his ramen cabinet.

"HEY!" The monkey and the dog-thingy both froze. The monkey turned his head dramatically while a dog/wolf/whatever things face peeked over his cabinet. Both's eyes studied him with much interest.

A second dog/wolf thing peeked out of his bedroom, a strange mark on its brow. It grinned, unlike the other two.

"Yo, Naruto!" Naruto backed up a second. That was far too friendly a greeting… especially from a dog.

Then again, there was a dog talking in the streets one day to some wild looking lady and he didn't sound particularly mean.

If these two dog/wolf like things were similar to the dog in the street, they could be accounted for. But a talking monkey? Where the hell did they get one of those?

The thing exited his bedroom entirely and walked up to him in a proper laze.

"Ummm…" Naruto was in a predicament. He was in a room, with two talking animals and another who probably could talk, and none of them seemed freaked out… so it was only appropriate that he fill that void.

"WHAT THE HECK!" Naruto screamed suddenly and jumped up onto his small couch. The three animals seemed confused by this.

"What? Ain't joo ever seen a baboon and two coyots before?" The 'baboon' said with an unknown accent.

Naruto's freak out was put on hold as he deadpanned, "…No."

"Oh." Three voices answered back.

Awkward silence.

"What are…" Naruto started hesitantly. "… you guys doing in my home?"

The baboon and one of the 'coyot' both looked towards the other that had the mark on his head. He shrugged and approached Naruto slowly.

"Naruto, me and my friends…" He cocked his head back towards the two silent animals. "Got a little…"

A large grin that promised mischief spread across the 'coyot' 's face.

"…proposition for you."

* * *

In the middle of the Battle Training Ground 44, better known as the Forest of Death, sat four individuals.

Two coyotes, a baboon, and a small blonde kid.

In the center, lay a fire just newly built.

The boy huddled up to it for warmth, eying his current company. He wasn't really suspicious. People weren't very nice to him most of the time, but animals had always been friendly. No animal he had met so far showed the same distaste that most people seemed to have for him.

He also didn't figure that their strange proposition of a summoning contract was fake. The fact that the two coyotes bickered the entire time he was riding on ones back eased him as well.

He liked his present company, he really did. They were smart, talking animals that offered something he wasn't really sure he knew anything about. But one said something about awesome powers… and there was no way in hell Naruto Uzumaki was going to turn down awesome powers.

"'Ight boy! Stan' up!" The baboon thing commanded. Naruto stood up with slight hesitation. His hesitation was in that he didn't really know what the thing had just told him to do.

The animal called Oko detached his cape, folded it, and laid it down with the utmost of care. He then walked his monkey self around the fire.

"Ok, ok. Now take yo shirt and shoes off." Naruto turned to the two brothers who both shrugged. He reluctantly kicked off his sandals and took off his grungy t-shirt.

"Foot, up!" Naruto blinked and lifted his right foot up. He had to quickly adjust his weight as the animal took his foot and seemed to… inspect it?

No, the baboon called Oko was inspecting his… toe nails?

"Ummm…"

"Good, good. Now that's interesting." Oko began mumbling under his breath. He closed one eye and put there other right up next to his pinky toe. He took it away a second later and nodded solemnly.

"Good."

He then began poking his chest and mumbling. His poking slowly descended. He seemed to poke a bone each time before going onto the next.

"Three, four, five…" He seemed to freeze after counting a few more. He nodded rapidly.

"I like joo boy!" He slapped Naruto on both shoulders before he cocked his head. He stared at the three whiskers for a second before taking a glance at Naruto's stomach.

"Na… dat's interesting…" He ran a hand across Naruto's stomach before taking a step back with a face showing surprise and a fairly large amount of surprise.

He squinted his eyes giving the blonde boy a curious stare. He nodded to himself.

"Ja, ja. Very interesting."

He hurriedly made his way over to the fire. He reached under his cape things and pulled out a green bowl. The bowl was filled with a strange powder.

"That stuff wasn't under that cape a second ago…"

Oko was suddenly face to face with Naruto, "IT'S A WALIK BOY AND JOO BEST DAMN WELL REMEMBA DAT!" Naruto was sent tumbling backwards.

Naruto, from the ground, nodded furiously.

He hesitantly made his way to a standing position.

"Cool." Was Oko's somewhat bipolar answer.

The brother coyote identified as Te'telo murmured out to Naruto, "He's serious about his blanket." Naruto whole heartedly agreed.

As they were saying this, Oko had made a line of the powder around the fire before pouring the rest straight in it.

A small vial appeared out from under the 'walik' and Oko inspected it for a moment. He shook it up a little before tossing it into the fire.

The fire flashed. Red, blue, orange, green, purple, orange, blue. It grew bigger with each changing color before…

"Oh, KUNULA!" Oko chanted out.

Naruto was then greeted by a strange sight. A head, much like that of the two brothers across from him was in the fire. Well, not necessarily in the fire. More made out of fire. If Naruto had to figure, it was a women coyote.

The fiery head turned to Oko and grinned, "Well, well, well. Oko, how long has it been since we've last done this?"

Female voice, definitely female. Her voice carried an odd quality. She talked with a laze, much like the two brothers acted, but it held something familiar.

Power. Her voice sounded a lot like the Old Man, that in of itself spoke volumes.

"A lon', lon' time Kunula." The head composed of flames nodded before she caught in the corner of her eye, the two coyotes sitting by the fire.

"Te'telo and Truok...?" She looked around, but her back was to Naruto so she missed him. "What's the occasion?"

"Yo, Kunula-sama!" Te'telo seemed to shrink away. "Sorry I'm so… late." He laughed nervously.

"Eh," Kunula's disembodied head attempted a shrug. "It happens, but now I believe we have more important matters don't we?" Her teasing voice was accompanied by a small smirk.

Te'telo's grin came back at full force and he lifted his paw towards Naruto. The head slowly rounded on Naruto, before it blinked several times.

"Hmmm…" the coyote pursed her lips before sending a side-long glance at Truok. "Toe nails and rib test if I am not mistaken?"

Truok let out a patented sigh and nodded.

"I thought joo might want to see him. He's one of dem jin-what-cha-calls it."

"Jinchuriki?" The female cocked her head to the side. "Curious."

The fiery head moved out towards Naruto, a long tendril of fire flowing behind it, connecting it to its source.

The head slowly circled him, inspecting him all the way. He was pretty relieved when the fire didn't even touch him.

The flaming, coyote's head came face to face with him and Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. Even though red and hot, the coyote's eyes seemed mischievously sparkle. She took a long glance at his whiskers again. Her eyes narrowed before they widened.

"Oh my…" The head let out a small giggle. "This is too ironic to pass up."

"Huh?" was Naruto's intelligent response.

"If I am correct, my little Te'telo has taken a liking to you." The head turned to Te'telo, the fiery tendril still circling Naruto.

He nodded and grinned. "Yea, the kid does some fun pranks."

Naruto was still confused. Did his pranks really cause this?

"Well let's see." Kunula turned back to Naruto and slyly grinned. "He's got the mind, he's no doubt got the potential for some fun and that's not mentioning the irony of it all."

"Huh? What… irony?" Naruto's question of what the word meant was misunderstood.

"Oh you don't know the story, little…"

"Naruto."

"Little Naruto." She bowed her head slightly. "It's pure, unadulterated irony that the container of the Kyuubi no Kitsune be a Coyote Summoner. With our past and all, it's just too perfect." She let out a cute little laugh, but didn't fail to notice Naruto's dumbfounded expression.

"Wha…what?"

"Oh…" Kunula's eyes were wide with concern. "You didn't know?"

Naruto didn't answer right away and instead ran his fingers over his whisker marks, tracing them

"I… I don't understand." He looked up and appeared much like he was. A young, confused child.

The fiery coyote head was perturbed. Kunula was a trickster and flirt first and for most. She didn't like cruel or unfair circumstances that were placed upon children, and that's not even counting without their knowledge.

"Well…" She glanced around at those surrounding the fire.

"You've been doing the world a great deed little Naruto, holding back such a fearsome beast." She said with the utmost sincerity. "You're practically a hero." Kunula's head smiled cheerfully.

A second fiery tendril emerged, in the shape of a paw.

"And heroes, as you no doubt know, always get a…" the flaming paw snaked towards the stationairy Naruto. "… a reward."

The paw lashed out with speed Naruto had never witnessed before and tapped him on his right bicep. Naruto yelped and fell back in shock, as if he hadn't had enough already today. He ran his hand along where there should be a burn but all that there was a strange black paw mark.

He stood, his eyes never leaving the mark as it seemed to twist around for a second. It then started growing.

The mark flowed into lines, and the lines made dips and curves running along his arm. The dips and curves swirled and twirled and conjoining to make a strange pattern. Soon, his entire arm was covered in a large black design. It almost seemed like a tattoo.

He looked up, wide eyed, at the three animals and their disembodied head leader. They all seemed to watch with interest and Te'telo was grinning like a child with a new toy. But why did they look so…

Hazy. Their faces became hazy, fuzzy. He swayed on his feet for a second as the world seemed to spin around him.

"Wha…?" the words slurred out of his mouth.

"Now, little Naruto." The leader of the Coyote clan cooed. "Sleep, all will be well in the morning."

As Naruto fell back, he distinctly heard the words "second seal" coming from Kunula.

He couldn't help but also notice that the ground felt an awful lot like a soft blanket.

* * *

A little blood, a few hand seals and poof. A handy little friend is just there. Summoning really was a wonderful and useful little jutsu.

"Sarutobi? No fight I see…" The Monkey King peered around. "So this is no business call."

"Actually, no."

Enma crouched down on top of a chair and looked at his summoner expectantly.

The Sandaime Hokage rubbed his forehead, each crease and winkle seemed to stand out at that moment. His ivory pipe lay to the side, still smoking.

"I have a little problem and I believe you could help me with it."

The shaggy haired monkey cocked his head. Sarutobi wasn't one to turn down help, but the last time he had asked for help in something other than battle was a good 20 to 30 years ago. Enma knew Sarutobi though, and there were only a few things he would need info from him about. He went with the most obvious one.

"Well, ok Sarutobi I'll help as best I can." He popped a small bottle out of his stripped jacket.  
"Now this is the greatest invention you will ever see."

He shook the bottle a little and a small blue ball popped out. The Hokage quirked his eye brow as the Monkey King went into what seemed to be a strange sales add.

"It's made mainly from the extract of the Long Leafed Agraiv Plant. They are only found in a certain area in some remote mountains." He waved his hand vaguely before tossing the small ball to Sarutobi.

He held the blue ball up and inspected it for a second.

"One of those…"

Sarutobi shook his head slightly in disappointment and frustration. "Enma, I didn't call you here to-"

"…and you'll be going all night. I usually need it. I don't got the stamina I use to and a King's harem requires a lot."

Sarutobi sat in silence for a second. He looked at the small pill with much more reverence.

"Really?"

"Oh you betcha. This stuff is-"

The Hokage shook his head rapidly. "No, not now. We have other matters."

"Oh." Enma missed the Hokage slipping the pill between his robes.

The wrinkled man sighed.

"Yes, yes. I have some questions that need to be answered." He gestured to the crystal ball sitting in the center of his desk.

Enma hopped from his seat to a crouching position on the edge of the desk.

"Isn't that…?" The crystal ball displayed a small blonde boy wrapped in covers laying with his back to them. He seemed to be having a troubling night's sleep as he tossed and turned.

"Yes, Naruto Uzumaki. The one the Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi into, but that's not the point of tonight's interest." The boy, as if on cue, rolled all the way over revealing his right arm.

The distinctive markings of a summoning tattoo covered up most, if not all, of the young boy's arm.

"What tha…" Enma's mouth was agape.

He had seen and even given summoning tattoos before, but this boy was six, maybe seven. There is no possible way he just happened to get a summoning contract that early. It was unheard of.

"My thoughts exactly when I looked in on him a little while ago."

"But what contract could it be?"

"Toad would make sense, but…"

"Fox would too, which is a scary thought."

"Yes, yes. But I believe I found a clue that you could shed some light on."

'The Professor' placed his hands on the ball and focused for a moment. The vision backed up and turned towards the boy's door. It drifted forwards and phased through the door before turning to the blonde haired child's kitchen.

On the table sat a monkey with a very red buttocks and a cape, who was speaking to two wolf like creatures.

While Sarutobi had become an expert in the ways of Lip Reading, his skills weren't exactly tailored to talking animals. The orb didn't project sound either so they could only draw straws on what was being said.

"You're shitting me…"

Sarutobi picked up his pipe and refreshed it's burn with a small sealless Katon.

"I was hoping you could account for the ape, but the other two animals I have not seen the likes before." He puffed on his pipe a little before blowing a small ring out. It wasn't exactly false, he had seen wolves and many dogs curtsy of the Inuzuka. The things in Naruto's apartment were as far as he knew, not dogs or wolves of any kind, but still very similar.

The King circled the globe, even though it was of little use.

"Oh man, this is not good for you Sarutobi."

The aging man took the pipe from his mouth.

"What do you mean?"

"That's not one under my tribe but I can tell you what all three of them are." He turned to Sarutobi and a small grin cracked. "They are of the Coyote tribe."

The Hokage famous for his intelligence and extensive knowledge was for once stumped. "I don't believe I have heard of them before."

"Yea, not likely but all summons know them. You could say that they are some of the most entertaining summons around."

"Entertaining?"

"Yea, quite. One time…" The Monkey king palmed his face for a second with a nostalgic grin. "They took Manda's shed skin and put it near the Thunder Hawk's main nesting area. Oh man, you should have seen it afterwards."

"Awww man, that was classic." He let out a laugh and wiped away the beginnings of a tear.

"So they are…" Sarutobi searched for the right word before he made a small revelation. They were almost perfect for Naruto. "Pranksters?"

"More so than that. Tricksters and shape shifters of the highest caliber. Me and my little staff transformation is child's play compared to what some of them can do."

Enma heard his summoner gulp rather dramatically. "Do…do their summoners inherit that ability?"

Enma propped his head on his chin before shrugging. "Yea, I am pretty sure. It's been awhile since I spoke to them and the last was…" Enma looked away, with a rosy color rising on his cheeks, under the fur.

"Their boss…" The boss of the Monkey tribe let out a happy sigh and blushed. As in the lord of all ape kind, blushing like a little school girl with a crush.

"Enma, are you…?"

The monkey snapped out of his daze. "Huh? What? Oh…" he glanced at his summoner. "Oh, oh yea."

The Hokage's face became deadpan. "And what exactly was that?"

"Oh… well." He blushed again. "Kunula-chan… she's…"

Sarutobi, in all his years knowing Enma, had never once heard him refer to anyone so intimately.

"Did you and this Kunula…?" The lecherous man let out a perverted giggle.

"Oh god I wish!" He rose slightly and brought his fist up, becoming very reminiscent of a certain spandex wearing duo.

They both sat in an awkward silence for a second.

"You're a fanboy…"

"Shut up, little man."

"The greatest ape summon in history is a fanboy."

"I'm warning you, Sarutobi."

The loud chuckle of an old man sounded through the Hokage's Tower. It was abruptly cut short by the sound of something adamantite breaking a desk in half.

"Ok, now that was uncalled for Enma."

"I warned you."

The man picked up his crystal ball and dusted it off. He paused and the air around him became serious.

"Enma."

"Yea, Sarutobi?"

"Are they a threat?"

"To the boy or the village?"

The Hokage let out a small sigh, thinking of better days when such questions didn't exist.

"Either."

"Well… the Coyotes are some of the most vengeful summons but not in the way you would expect."

"How so?"

The monkey-man rubbed his chin before answering. "Where someone else would kill a person who wronged them, they would instead humiliate that person, mess up their life, and then just grin while whistling innocently."

Sarutobi suddenly found himself wishing that Naruto had stumbled onto the Fox or Toad contract instead.

"In other words…" Sarutobi started as he looked out the window at Konoha with much pity.

Enma let loose a feral grin, reminding Sarutobi that even the most intelligent summons don't let go of all of their animalistic tendencies, and finished.

"Most of Konoha is utterly _screwed_."

* * *

**_AN:_**

**_If you thought Oko was over the top and inconsistent (not to mention a little bipolar), then I accomplished what I wanted as a character._**

**_Yep, Naruto the Coyote Summoner._**

**_No, Sarutobi won't interfere as long as it isn't dangerous. And no again he won't have a diligent teacher turning him into a super ninja. Te'telo will be teaching him to transform and a female Coyote later on will show him a few fun little things and that's pretty much it. This isn't a Super!Naruto fic._**

_**Next Chapter: The Second Seal, a Lesson in Shape Shifting and maybe a trick or two.**_

* * *


	3. Appearances can be Deceiving

_**You were just waiting in baited breath for this weren't you? Oh I know I know. Ok maybe not but whatever. I wrote this while primarily listening to Modest Mouse... don't know if that explains anything but it might. You never know.  
**_

_**Chapter Two, coming at cha!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothinz!**_

* * *

_The Barking Trickster_

Chapter 2

_Appearances can be Deceiving_

* * *

'_Wow, this is pretty warm'_ was Naruto Uzumaki's first thought as his mind came back to a conscious state.

_'A little too warm…'_ was his second thought.

_'Why can I barely move_?' Was his third.

Naruto soon came to realize that, he was indeed trapped under something incredibly soft and warm. Now what this was, is up for grabs.

It felt like the sheets on his bed, but they were never this heavy.

So he wiggled and squirmed and fidgeted until he came to the very edge of the bed. He slipped out from under his sheets and instead of the resounding thud he had expect when he hit his wooden floors, he was instead treated to a solid 'thump'.

He stared curiously down at his floor, where a strange purple piece of clothing had softened his fall. Now, Naruto wasn't one who focused too much of his attention on cloths. He preferred orange and something comfortable. That was really it.

He did **not** own anything purple. That was for sure.

He picked up the object in question and found himself extremely confused. It looked like clothing… but it didn't look like it would fit anywhere on his body.

"Kinda looks like a giant sling shot… but with two places to put things? And man can it hold some big water balloons or something." He tossed the strange purple double sling shot to the side and took a cursory glance at his room.

What he found, he admitted, was unexpected.

His room was, for lack of a better word, overran by cloths. A pile half as tall as him covered his bed. Cloths of all shapes, sizes and colors littered his floor. It looked as if someone had thrown their hamper into his room with an explosive note in the very center.

"Uhhhhh…" He, once again, was no clothing aficionado, but it was clear to him that well over half this stuff wouldn't fit him and besides that, much of it was very… colorful. Naruto cursed his lacking vocabulary.

He spied something that looked like what he might wear, a pair of shorts just about his size. He leaned down to inspect them, perhaps they were his.

His arm stretched out, more on instinct than anything.

That's when he noticed it…

The markings... the tattoo. And it all came flashing back.

The home invasion. The brothers and Oko. The strange, if not a little friendly, fiery head. And….

The Kyuubi...

His body went into a noticeable slump.

He, as in him, the one and only Naruto Uzumaki, contained the Kyuubi no Kitsune.

He wasn't even sure what that meant. Did that mean that they had to kill it and seal away its body? Maybe they couldn't kill it… maybe…

He was the Kyuubi.

He stared down at his hands and half expected tails to shoot out of the base of his spine at any moment.

He furiously shook his head back and forth.

_'No… no. I would know if I was a fifty foot tall fox.'_

…_'Right?'_

"The kids awake." Naruto rounded on his door and found one of the coyotes from last night. Truok he believed. He looked wholly uncaring, but a little pity could be discerned by the observant. Pity for what reason was questionable.

"Oh snap, really!?" The now familiar voice of Te'telo shouted from his kitchen.

The excited coyote bounded over his brother and into the room.

"What's up, Ace?" The coyote was as non-chilante as physically possible it seemed. "Yea, yea hurry up. You gotta tell us how this 'stove' thingy works."

The coyote went behind him and began nudging him towards the door with his nose.

At this point, Naruto had had enough. He had been nice, friendly, and offered no small amount of patience.

His eyes narrows and his jaw clenched for a moment.

"Ok, wait wait wait!" He spun around till him and Te'telo's faces were right next to each other. Te'telo still seemed as calm as ever. The bastard stopped that grin atleast and now frowned curiously.

"You… you… "

"Coyotes."

"Coyotes! Whatever, you just think I'm gonna find out I 'contain' "He made the quotation marks with his hands. "The freakin' Kyuubi and… and…

"Just get over it?"

"YEA!"

Te'telo's expression changed to one of thought before it changed to pity.

"Man, I'm so sorry. I know it's gotta be pretty rough…"

"Damn right it is! I mean-"

"And not to mention embarrassing."

"You're telli- wait what?" Naruto's face scrunched up in confusion. He thought he knew what embarrassing meant.

"Yea, it's gotta suck." The coyote grinned as if he had just heard a piece of personal info best left unsaid. "Of all the Bijuu, you get the fox that might as well be a bitch with all its whining."

The air found some new space between Naruto's jaw and the roof of his mouth. Te'telo shook his slowly head while he sighed.

A paw reached up and patted Naruto on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, we won't rag on you for it." He then nudged Naruto again towards the door. "But don't expect too much pity, now hop to it Ace. I've heard some good stuff about these 'pancake' things."

Naruto was now in a dilemma. While he wasn't the brightest person, he could surmise from that little interaction that he contained the Kyuubi and wasn't the Kyuubi. Now the problem was thus, are his ears working right?

Did he really just hear that coyote, Te'telo he reminded himself, say he should be embarrassed for getting the _'whiney bijuu'_. This required in-depth investigation.

As he entered his connected kitchen/living room, he took notice of yet another Coyote staring intensely at something in his fridge. This one was a bit stranger though, as he had markings trailing down his entire body. They looked somewhat similar to his strange new tattoo.

He reached up and flipped the knob on his stove and a small blue fire sprang to life on one of the burners. He didn't even react to Te'telo's cheers of excitement.

He reached and gripped the handle of his fridge.

When he opened his fridge all the way, he found that the strange new coyote was staring at a half-empty carton of orange juice.

"Ummm…" the strange coyote turned to him. "Who are you and what are you doing?"

The coyote made a face as if Naruto had asked the stupidest question in the world. Well, Naruto assumed that was the face the coyote was making. He wasn't very good at reading coyote faces.

"Boy, joo know me," Naruto took a step back. The thing spoke just like that baboon, Oko. His voice was a little off though, deeper and a little more gravelly. "And dis ding righ' here says 'concentrate' and I am."

He turned back to the orange juice, his face the picture of 'concentration'

Naruto didn't often feel like the smartest person in a room, or sanest for that matter. The saying "There was a first time for everything" made much more sense, between one coyote wondering how to make pancakes and another staring at orange juice.

"Yea…" He heard a sigh from his couch. On it sat Truok. Naruto decided to huddle towards the, so far, most normal Coyote he had met.

He sat down beside the coyote whose half-lidded eyes turned to him.

"I know what you're thinking… and yes…" Naruto blinked confusedly. "They are that crazy." Another sigh.

Naruto looked exasperated at that moment. "I'm pretty…"

"Confused?"

"You guys gotta stop doing that!"

"Sorry sorry." The coyote held up a paw in an appeasing manner.

"Soo…?" Naruto offered Truok the stage for continuing.

"Yea, you gotta be feeling pretty out of it and confused right now."

Naruto could only nod.

"Probably wondering why Te'telo referred to the Kyuubi as a whiney bitch?"

Naruto could, once again, only nod.

"And why there are cloths all around your bedroom?"

Naruto was getting pretty good at nodding.

"And that's not even mentioning why an animal that sounds like someone complete different from last night is 'concentrating' on your orange juice."

Naruto's nodding skills reached a new pinnacle. When it comes to nodding anyways.

"Welcome to my life."

They both let out sighs just as Te'telo screamed in rage as he figured out he needed batter to make pancakes.

* * *

"So what cha wanna know?" The-thing-that-sounded-like-Oko-but-wasn't asked.

"Well…" Naruto searched for the right one to ask first. "Who are you?"

Once again, the face as if asked the stupidest question in the world.

"Joo ain't very bright up der are ya?"

Naruto's eye brow twitched visibly.

"That's Oko, ace. You know, the baboon from last night?"

Naruto looked dumbfounded for a second before hesitantly forming a question.

"But if he was a baboon last night, how is he a coyote today?"

"Oh…" The two coyotes looked at each other before grinning sheepishly. The other could only sigh.

"We forgot to mention a little skill of ours." Te'telo smiled apologetically as he leapt towards Naruto's table but instead of the big coyote breaking his table like he expected, a small black cat landed on it.

Naruto blinked once. Twice. Three times. He rubbed his eyes and blinked again for good measure.

"Did… did…?"

"Yea, it's pretty sweet. Just wait till you get the hang of it!" The cat then attempted to grin, but it's not something a cat should ever do.

"Wait…" Naruto reached up and rubbed his ears. "Did you say, when I get the hang of it?"

"Yea man, you think a coyote summoner wouldn't be able to transform?"

"I can…" Naruto scratched his head. This was all just a bit too much. "Wait, summoner?"

"What, did you think we get out kicks out of tattooing small children? Though I suppose some older people of the feminine variety would be fun." Te'telo followed this with a perverse giggle.

"So…" Naruto's brain filed in the information into the correct slots which allowed him to say, "I can summon talking, shapeshifting coyotes?"

Te'telo and Oko nodded while Truok shrugged an affirmative.

"That about sums it up, Ace."

"And I can transform too? Into anything?"

"Pretty much anything…"

"That…is… AWESOME!"

"Hell yea it is!" Te'telo shot a righteous kitty fist up into the air.

"So, how do I do it?"

Te'telo assumed what could be called the kitty version of a lecturing posture but he was cut off before he began.

Oko looked strangely formal as he held up a paw, silencing Te'telo.

"Na, na. Dere will be time for dat later. Right now, I'd say da bruddas are almost outta time." He motioned to both of them.

Te'telo centered his view on Naruto while Truok shrugged.

"What?" he asked after a moment of intense staring from Te'telo.

"Well, are you gonna keep us here or what?"

Not sure how to respond Naruto could only stare dumbly.

"I don't particularly care. I'm up for going home anyways." Truok let out a small yawn.

"Well, I figured I would hang around!" Te'telo said matter of factly and still looked at Naruto.

"Well what do you want me to do?" said a confused Naruto. He didn't like being expected to do something and have no idea what exactly it was.

"Come 'ere boy." A moment later, Oko had placed his paw in Naruto's hand.

Naruto felt a strange ripple go through the tattoo and his arm. The tattoo flashed a strange deep red for a second before settling back into black.

A tugging sensation followed. It wasn't as if he was being tugged around by a leash or something, but as if someone was lightly pulling a string he had wrapped around his arm.

It tugging straight towards Te'telo. He then noticed that he felt two more tugging sensations, both of them much more muted. They pointed directly towards Oko and Truok, who was stretching and gazing out the window, almost as if saying bye to Konoha.

"Whoa…"

"Ja, ja. Ya get use to dat." Oko nodded sagely. "Ya pretty much know where any coyot' is, even if deys not usin' yo mojo."

"Mojo?"

"Ja, ja. Ya use da mojo to summon de coyot's and do da fancy tricks joo humans love. And I tell ya, joo got alotta mojo, wid da prissy little fox in ya and all."

Naruto instantly remembered what Kunula, who he realized must be extremely important, had said the night before.

"Why don't you guys like the Kyuubi." Naruto then realized that his question was rather stupid in actuality. The Kyuubi was a rampaging fox that massacred villages. "I mean…"

Truok snorted from the side. "Short story? The coyotes are what the Kyuubi hates most in all of existence. Doesn't help that we, Kunula-sama mostly, embarrassed him on several occasions, and on all of them he threw a hissy fit of massive proportions afterwards."

Naruto, as he had become accustomed to, was dumbfounded.

"The Kyuubi… " He tried to wrap his head around the idea. "Threw a hissy fit?"

Three nods.

"And… you're alive?"

Three nods.

"…I'm not sure I want to know how."

"Bijuu's can't travel to the summoning realm anymore." Truok shrugged as he said so. His eyes widened for a moment.

He turned, waving his paw for a second. "Well, I'll see you guys later. Good luck, kid. Don't let Te'telo get you killed."

"Later br… wait! I take offense to that!" Te'telo's message had just a moment to register before Truok grinned and poofed away into smoke. He huffed and curled around his self. Betrayal in the family was hard to take.

Naruto cocked his head to the side.

_'He disappeared in smoke? This stuff gets weirder and weirder…'_

"Don't worry ace, I got your back. My bro doesn't know what he is talking about. Who do you think hooked you up with all that awesome clothing anyways?" He began mumbling under his breath about _"lazy bastard brothers"_.

Naruto deadpanned, "About that…"

"Yea yea, I threw in a few things for your own personal enjoyment." He wiggled his eyebrows comically.

"Huh?" Six year old, meet perverted joke. Perverted joke, go ahead right over his head as usual.

"Errr…" Te'telo seemed honestly confused that the boy didn't get his meaning. He even wagged his eyebrows!

"Da boys a bit young for dat 'telo."

"Oh…" Te'telo seemed rather put off by this revelation.

"Young for what?"

"Errr… nothing! You got some new sets of cloths anyways, so it's cool."

Naruto felt his eye brow twitch. "You must be colorblind or something, nearly everything in there is purple or some other crazy color. There is hardly any orange!"

"Coyotes are colorblind." Te'telo deadpanned. "Besides, you need cloths with longer sleeves anyways."

Naruto who was blushing from his small blunder scratched the back of his head.

"Why?"

"To hide the tattoo and the seal, come on Ace think about these things!" Te'telo urged as if it was clearly obvious.

"Speakin' of da seal."

Naruto turned to Oko who was slowly making his way to his 'walik', which lay draped gently across the back of his couch.

"We best to get it done, before joo try any of da shifting."

* * *

Naruto lay, spread eagle, on his now clear kitchen floor. He wasn't totally sure how he should feel at the moment.

One, he had been trying to pry the reason the Kyuubi hates Kunula and the Coyotes from Te'telo for most of the time and with little results.

Oko had warned him against _"taintin' da virgin minds"_ and then mentioned something about how it would upset Kunula.

Te'telo suddenly whole heartily agreed to not mention anything about the Kyuubi/Kunula relationship. Naruto wasn't exactly sure what 'virgin' meant but it must be important.

Another strange little thing was that a man was currently making strange markings on his skin and on the floor around him as well.

The form that Oko seemed to like was very… interesting. A loincloth wearing, dark skinned and heavily tattooed form. He also had a bone in his beard, twisted around into a knot.

The last strange point was that the markings were being made with a mixture of a strange ink substance and his blood. Now Naruto wasn't squeamish, but anything involving him cutting his arm and then having his own blood painted on him could never end pleasantly.

The seal also began at his heart and centered around it, which was also another unpleasant sign.

It became clear that it was necessary though… but Naruto couldn't help but wonder…

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why do I need this seal thingy?"

"Well, boy." The loinclothed man paused for a second and scratched his chin for a moment. "Well…" He set back to work.

"Dis seal here, it had to be made afta we had a few summoners. Ya see, joo humans ain't suppose to transform. It was ok when ya just change joo a little but…"

He let out a hesitant little giggle.

"When dey really started changin' alot, dey lost dere head little by little till… well…"

"Well… well what?!" Naruto didn't have fond feelings about becoming a head-case.

"Well, dey kinda started believing dey were da animal."

"Oh…" Naruto's nervousness was on the rise. "But what does this seal do to stop that?"

"It acts like an anchor da holds a part of ya spirit to ya human mind. It let's ya be sane and change as much as you wan'." Oko started tracing a large circle around Naruto with the paint.

"But its kinda strange, it tends to… "Oko searched for the right word. "Change." He settled on with a nod.

Oko waved away Naruto's questioning look with a wave of his hand.

"Joo will see when it be done."

He finished the circle and backed up to admire his handy work.

He slowly walked around his creation and observed each piece individually. Naruto realized that there was much more to the shape shifter infront of him than meets the eye.

"So…" Te'telo began from a position projecting his boredom. He had assumed his coyote form some time ago it appeared."Will it hurt him?"

"Hm." Oko crouched down and seemed to correct a small line. "I don' really rememba. I guess we will see."

"Wait!" Naruto cried out in indignation. "What do you mean joo don' really rememba?"

Oko calmly ignored him as he stood back once again and after a moment nodded.

"Ja, ja. Dis looks good." He clapped his hands together but instead of bringing them apart he began rubbing them together.

"Hey, Oko wait a second…" Naruto gulped loudly.

Oko showed no signs of stopping as he slammed his hands down on the seal and Naruto could only seize up as the seal seemed to… twist.

It flashed for a second, a dark red. The color of blood almost.

It twisted around one way, before twisting another. It seemed to work like a lock as crazy as that seemed.

With each twist, another small flash of light.

Soon, with each twist, the seal began making its way across the floor and towards the center. Right above Naruto's heart.

It finally stopped just before it all reach Naruto, pausing. It flashed once more, brighter than before, and surged forward to come directly over Naruto's heart. It looked like some strange tribal symbols that was made in layers.

A noticeable whisp of smoke rose off the seal before it once again twisted, but this time it moved fluidly with the turning motion. It twisted until it covered his entire left pectoral muscle.

"Hmmm…" Oko said with a little reverie. "Da boys gotta lot of spirit and da mojo." The man let out a little cackle.

"Joo know, Te'telo. Dis boy will be fun." He said as he slapped the coyote on his back. "I feel it in my bones."

Te'telo just grinned.

And Naruto just sat up wondering if he was going to end up with strange markings all over his body.

"So, what happens now?" Naruto asked as he turned to his two friends/summons.

Te'telo let a grin spread across his face.

"The real fun begins now, Ace."

* * *

Yamada Fukui was, with his slicked black hair, having a good day.

Yamada was, at a first glance, a well mannered, average store owner. Many people were perfectly fine with that first glance as well as they entered his large buzzing flower shop. Yamada's scents wafted across the entire neighborhood and even the most hardened of Shinobi didn't mind a sweet smelling place to live.

One of the reasons his day was so good was his newest cashier, a petite classic girl next door. He let a leer spread across his face as he watched her from behind, his head slowly drifting sideways to get a better look around the door way that separated the back room and the main shop.

She would be a stone cold fox in a few years, no doubt in his mind.

He had unanimously decided that this was one of the better decisions he has made lately. His patented self assured smirk was donned as he straightened his collar a little and made his way up behind the girl.

Yamada went for the gentle, caring boss routine as he made way for his hand to rest on her hip, but his plan hit a small snag. The phone rang and the girl answered in her cutesy little voice. She quickly turned to yell into the back room but jumped slightly in surprise to find her boss right behind her.

"F-Fukui-dono, it's your wife." The girl had such an innocent voice too! He smiled gently before taking the phone and turning. He let a small sigh escape his lips before putting the phone to his face.

"Yes honey?"

Loud sounds.

"I know honey.

More loud sounds.

"Yes, yes. I don't mind at all." He slowly turned, taking in the view of his shop as he focused on his wife's voice. At first that is.

A man had just entered his shop. He wouldn't be much different than anyone else in the store at the time if not for the fact that the man's trench coat was just a little big for him.

"Umm… honey, darling. I-I gotta go." His wife's outraged voice didn't register as he slammed the phone down, staring intently at the approaching man. The man was well kept and looked the picture of an average, if a bit handsome, fellow looking for a few flowers for his wife or lover.

Fukui somehow knew that the man went for that exact image.

"Why, hello there Fukui-san."

"Oh… umm." Fukui pulled at his collar. "I-I wasn't expecting you so early."

"Well, you know how the old saying goes…" the man let out a hollow chuckle that was nearly contradictory to his appearance. It didn't help that it made the cashier and the customer she was working with shift away from the man slightly.

"Oh yes. Quite. I believe I have your…" Fukui fiddled with his fingers for a moment. "Order?"

The trench coat man nodded.

"Yes, your order is in the back."

Yamada set his hand on the new cashier's shoulder as the man made his way into the back room. "Would you be a dear and keep an eye on the shop as I deal with one of our valued customers?" The girl blinked cutely for a second before nodding her head. He squeezed her shoulder and smiled a smile that was a little too forced.

Yamada shut the door with a bit more force than necessary.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Yamada's voice was angry but low.

"Why Fukui-san, I am just here to get the order." The man had a casual air around him as he waved his hand vaguely as he spoke.

"Yes, I know that but in broad fucking daylight?" Yamada produced a plastic bottle and popped the cap off. He threw his head back and with a noticeable gulp calmed down considerably.

"Now, now Fukui-san aren't you the one who thought the flower shop would be the perfect co-" He twisted his head around as a loud scream was heard through the door. Not one of terror or even surprise.

But of disgust.

Both men startled, made towards the door way.

Fukui wrenched the door open and found all of his customers and employee's fleeing.

"What the hell?" was his only remark as his store was vacated to the last person.

Then it hit them.

It was a smell, overpowering and encompassing. It seemed to etch itself into their nasal passages and overload them, short circuiting and frying them.

It was the most horrible scent either had ever had the privilege to smell. It was familiar though. Far too familiar.

It held a tinge of the familiar smell of a rotting corpse.

"Fukui!" The man yelled as he covered his nose with his coat. This was not good, if a ninja came to investigate…

"I had nothing to do with this!"

* * *

"Hmmmm. That was…" A small hooded figure mumbled. A pair of binoculars extended from under his hood as he lay across the top of a building.

He had them zeroed in on the entrance of a shop that people seemed to be fleeing out of.

"…Unexpected."

He jumped to his feet and the hood twisted around, indicating the short figure was looking for any witnesses. Satisfied with his search, he quickly slid down a drainage pipe and into an alley.

He checked his surroundings again before throwing his hood back, revealing shockingly red hair tied up in a knot on top.

"Oh well, serves him right I guess."

The boy sprinted off, not knowing he had just narrowly avoid a stomach-wrenching smell that was slowly seeping into the neighborhood.

* * *

The red head laid himself across a coach and dumped his binoculars on the floor infront of him.

He let loose a yawn as his features seemed to… shift. His hair slowly settling into a rich blonde as it also shortened to the point where the knot just fell apart and into random spikes no less. Three pairs of whisker marks sprawled their way across his face as his irises took on a deeper shade of blue.

Naruto Uzumaki let his eyes droop.

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bacey!" Naruto shot up from his sleep and rounded on the only other occupant of the room.

"Damnit 'telo!" The coyote grinned at the boy's outburst

"What? No thanks for the hard worker? And watch the language young man!" He wagged his paw, mockingly.

"Yea, thanks for overdoing it."

"Ok ok, I can admit that was a bit of an accident."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. Te'telo it had became apparent, was a prodigy of shape shifting. For him to just mess up was rare.

"What happened?"

"Well, I finally decided on a smell and…."

"And…?"

"I kinda went with rotting corpse." Naruto cringed. It made a little sense now.

"That explains them all freaking out that badly but where'd you mess up?"

"I didn't mess up! I just… over did it." Te'telo grinned sheepishly.

"How much?"

"Let's just say that that neighborhood should be avoided for a few years."

"That's a bit much!"

"Well, I'd like to see you try to transform into a flower with a tailor-made scent!"

Naruto's face became void of emotion.

"You bastard…" a deadpan response.

Naruto had discovered something.

Shapeshifting was **hard**.

It was awesome of course but that didn't make it any easier.

He had been going at it for a year and he could only change into any male human form and that of a coyote.

It was a rule of sorts for any shape shifter, that you had to understand what you were changing into. You didn't just go "I want to be a rabbit" and BAM! Rabbit.

No.

You had to understand the rabbit, watch it and learn about it. Te'telo said once he got his first animal, the other would fall into place. This was something to look forward to atleast.

Most animals were driven by one or two things and weren't that different as a whole. If he understood this, their form was in his grasp.

Coyote and Humans were the exception in this case, as he was one already and he got the other for free… sort of.

Now females, that was a whole different bag of tricks that Te'telo didn't even try and go into. He simple said "You'll get it sooner or later" and left it at that.

Te'telo tried to explain the mechanics of shape shifting once. It wasn't about changing your appearance or even your body. It was about changing your spirit or very essence. You change your spirit and your body follows. It was all very confusing and left Naruto nursing a head ache.

The less said about changing into plants and inanimate objects, the better. Then there was the oh so fun dilemma of size and clothing…

"-RUTO! NARUTO!"

"Huh?" Naruto snapped from his recollection of all he knew about shape shifting.

Te'telo stared at him impatiently.

"Way to zone out there, Ace!" Naruto had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Sorry 'telo. What were you saying?"

"I was just telling you the best part."

Naruto had the strange urge the flick his ears in curiosity, a side effect of spending too much time as a coyote romping around the Forest of Death.

"Yea, it seems after that whole Uchiha thing..." Naruto blanched for a second recalling all that stuff that went down a few months ago. "You're village has gotten a little paranoid."

"What happened?"

"Seems that the fella that we pranked had a, shall we say, less than legal business." Te'telo cracked a grin and let Naruto fill in the blanks.

"So, ninjas showed up?"

"Yep and one look at the back room and they busted the guy."

Naruto cocked his head to the side in thought. He shrugged.

"Serves him right for that crap a week ago."

"Little vengeful aren't we?"

"As if coyotes are any better!"

"They grow up so fast!" Te'telo shifted into the form of a middle aged housewife with an apron on. It looked like an older version of Ayame, the ramen girl, after Naruto took a better look.

"Next thing you know he'll be all grown up and starting his own harem." The Te'telo-turned-housewife dabbed her eyes with her apron before bursting into full blown crocodile tears.

Naruto sighed as his over dramatic friend/teacher/summon went into a full, more than likely planned out, routine.

He blinked and opened his mouth slightly in confusion.

"What'sa harem?" He questioned out loud to nobody in particular.

* * *

"Kiba…"

"Mom…"

"You didn't do anything stupid today did you?"

"Mom!"

"Hey, hey just making sure!" Tsume Inuzuka held her hands up and grinned.

"Yea but… YougottagotalktoIruka-sensei!" Kiba spat out the words at incredible speed and tore out of the Academy's yard.

Tsume sighed as she palmed her face.

"It's always something…"

"That's what you get with giving him free reign." Her partner mumbled from her left.

"Like you put any effort into disciplining the pups, Kuromaru." The dog shrugged before turning back to the Academy that the oldest of Tsume's children had just exited with her triplets.

Hana, who would be graduating this year, ran up to the duo and began tugging on Tsume's vest until the woman paid her full attention.

"What is it Hana?" Tsume quirked an eyebrow.

"I did what you told me to." Tsume nodded in response, with a little pride.

It was a training exercise of sorts for young Inuzuka, just beginning to master their tracking skills, to commit as many people's smell to memory. It wasn't unusual for an Inuzuka to know the exact smell of many people that they had graduated with.

"And?"

"Some people smell really strange." Tsume shrugged, it wasn't that unusual. Some people didn't bathe and others bathed too much.

"That's not that unusual." Tsume patted her girl on the head and slowly began to meander to the door, to see exactly what Kiba had done.

"I know, I know! But… one guy…." Tsume froze in a cringe.

_'Don't tell me she found a scent she likes already! She's barely even hit puberty! Anything but the birds and the bees!' _

The Inuzuka clan as a whole was more passionate than the average person and it was almost common place for a young one to find a particular scent they liked and become attached to that person. This often caused trouble though. If the person rejected the Inuzuka or, even worse, encouraged… well… it could end up pretty ugly.

She slowly turned to her daughter who seemed preoccupied at looking in one direction. She followed her daughters gaze and she found it on a boy being scolded by one of the teachers. A boy in orange.

_'Oh fuck me sideways…'_ was Tsume's first thought. While the Inuzuka didn't harbor any ill-will towards the Kyuubi container, there was a little problem with Hana chasing after him. The boy was far too young and Tsume was sure he had no clue about anything regarding females. This couldn't end well for Hana.

"That kid. He smells really weird." Hana pointed straight at the boy and then turned to her mother for an explanation.

_'Then again, it could just be the Kyuubi she's smelling…'_ The Kyuubi screwed up most things. She turned to her partner who was staring intensely at the boy.

Kuromaru, the lazy patriarch of the Inuzuka dog's of war, walked up to Naruto Uzumaki, the container of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Tsume could only watch in fascination as the dog dismissed the teacher with a snarling growl and struck up a conversation with the boy.

Most people reacted weirdly to talking dogs, some stared and others even freaked out.

The boy was weirder though. He seemed… relaxed. Far too at ease speaking with a dog. Like an Inuzuka.

Kuromaru seemed to say something confusing or perhaps ask a question, as Naruto scratched the back of his head.

The boy shrugged before fishing out a small blunt practice kunai and holding it out to the eye-patched dog. He took it in his mouth and nodded in thanks to the boy, who shrugged again and sprinted off.

"Now what exactly was that about?" Mother, daughter and three dogs looked at Kuromaru expectantly as he neared them.

"Take dis." He said between his teeth. Tsume immediately did. "And smell it."

Tsume arched a brow but raised the harmless weapon to her nose anyway. Getting past the kunai's original smell, Tsume found the kid smelled of ramen, forest and… _animals_?

No that couldn't be right.

Inuzuka's smelled like dogs and if one spent enough time around a certain pet or summon they could smell like it. But no one just smelled like animals.

Tsume, using skills honed with the decades, broke apart the single scent. Dissecting it in a way that would leave many surgeons glaring with envy. What she found was, to quote her daughter, "strange".

At its basis, the kid's scent seemed like it couldn't decide what it was. It would change a little, leaning towards one scent but then do a flip and land on another. The most prevalent though appeared (or smelled) to be fox and… dog? No.

Not really dog, but close. Similar but wilder in a way. Almost excited or… bouncy. If that made any sense at all.

She couldn't discern much more than that without smelling the kid himself.

She pulled the kunai out from under her nose and took a good look at it.

"And that is in the top ten of the weirdest scents I have ever smelled." Kuromaru nodded solemnly. That was a lot coming from Kuromaru, whose senses were of legendary caliber and had seen more of the Elemental Countries than some ANBU squads could claim.

"We can agree there." Tsume looked down at her partner. "You think it's…?" Her implied meaning was apparent to Kuromaru and no one else.

"I'm not sure. Possible…" He gritted his teeth in thought before shrugging. "Keep an eye on him I say."

He turned to Hana. "Don't worry too much about it."

Hana's narrowed eyes looked between her mother and Kuromaru.

"There's something you're not telling me isn't there." A statement, not a question.

Tsume smiled and patted her daughter on the head, ruffling her hair.

"So?" Tsume questioned back. Hana snarled slightly and strode away, her small pack of triplets in tow.

As Tsume watched her eldest stalk off, she couldn't help but wonder….

"You don't think she's gonna try and get to the bottom of this do you?"

"I wouldn't mind finding out myself…" he said with a thoughtful expression.

"Kuromaru…"

The dog turned to his partner to find her twirling a kunai and her face graced with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Don't go encouraging my daughter to stalk a boy, pretty please." She pouted slightly after. The dog could only back away hesitantly, causing the women to let loose a bark like laugh.

Never let it be said that Tsume Inuzuka didn't know how to push her partner's buttons.

* * *

_**AN: **_

**_And there is that. 6kish words. I'm planning on more, shorter chapters._**

**_First of all, I am assuming Hana is around 5-6 years older than Naruto and Kiba. This would leave her around 18-19 for the start of Canon. Don't go assuming this is the start of a pairing or anything._**


	4. The Fox and the Hound

_**This chapter took so long to get out because I was gone from my computer with the chapter in it for a good 2 months. My apologies for it there. Any ways, here it is.**_

* * *

_The Barking Trickster_

Chapter 3

_The Fox and the Hound_

* * *

Hana Inuzuka had always been praised for her nose. Even by Inuzuka standards she had a particularly good nose. Then again she was the next in the long line of Matriarchs of the more human side of the Inuzuka clan, so her nose was expected to outshine others.

It wasn't surprising that she would be aware of anyone or anything that entered the range of her nostrils and that's how she noticed a scent that nipped at the edges of her senses. Familiar yet not intimately known.

So she swiveled her head around and low and behold, there stood one of the harder mysteries of Konoha. Naruto Uzumaki, Orange Loving Fiend Extraordinaire, and someone she by all rights should stay away from or at least not follow.

Inuzuka's had a way of following their own rules.

She had ran into a bit of a snag though.

"Where the hell is he!?" She threw her arms up in frustrations, causing three whimpers to sound behind her. _'All that's out here is that freaky training ground and trees!'_

"You guy's got any idea?" She said rounding on her three dogs. They could only shake their heads.

"I don't get it." She said going into a thinking pose, tapping foot and all. Her dogs listened in rapt attention. "How could he just disappear?"

It was a good question. How could a boy who reeked of ramen just disappear in the middle of the forest? It wasn't like the entire place was covered in a similar scent to the boys. Sure a few animals here and there but most was almost entirely woodland.

His scent still lingered though, its source just dissipated. As if into thin air. Only someone with intense counter-tracking training could pull this off.

Not some 9-year-old Academy Student who was just starting to learn his first jutsu.

But it seemed that she was beaten at her own game. She, who located a ninja waiting in ambush while her Jounin-sensei remained oblivious. She, who could tell you where the iron that your kunai was made of came from with just a whiff.

She, who was out smarted… out maneuvered… or just TRICKED by someone who hadn't even gotten their fucking head band yet.

Her eyebrow ticked. She cut her hand across before spreading her fingers out. The message was well understood by her companions.

_**'Spread out and find the bastard.'**_

Little known fact, dogs could sigh. And shrug. And believe that they will never understand humans mating rituals. Though they wouldn't mention that last one in the present company at the present time.

She leaned down and rubbed her hands across the ground for a second. Even though Inuzuka usually relied on their nose, that didn't mean they didn't learn other methods of tracking.

Light foot steps, small kid. Obviously Naruto. She followed the trail around a large, twisting tree.

And it ended.

As abruptly as the smell ended, the small tracks ended.

_'Did he jump into the trees or something?'_ She pondered as she looked up to make sure he wasn't just standing there…

Her eyes widened as she caught the scent. Very, very close and behind her.

She should have been more careful when she pivoted on the balls of her feet. Her carelessness lost her some face and a little humiliation as she came face to face with Naruto Uzumaki…

…and fell back with a loud effeminate "EEP!".

For her credit, she didn't tumble all over the ground. Merely just landed on her butt and looked up to the kid who wasn't there a moment before.

The lack of tracks made more sense now that she could clearly see him hanging upside down from a tree. His face scrunched up in confusion as his legs held a low branch.

On second thought, it wasn't really confusion entirely. Some confusion true but there was a fair amount of curiosity

"You should be more careful," he comment as he nodded wisely.

Hana felt the urge to throttle him as she stood up and glared at the boy, who remained oblivious to the girl's ire.

"How the hell did you do that?!" Naruto found himself suddenly on the ground and being shaken back and forth.

* * *

Naruto was having a strange day, to put it simply.

First he is being follow by some random girl.

Then he loses her and she starts throwing a small hissy fit.

Then when he shows himself she starts shaking him like a rag doll.

He had yet to take note of the fact that she was straddling him rather… awkwardly. Then again, he probably wouldn't assume much about that.

She on the other hand…

Hana stared down at the dazed kid before coming to the realization that she looked to be the in the middle of raping an under-aged boy. Choking and straddling had that effect.

When Naruto came back to his senses he found a well composed Hana tapping her foot expectantly. She stared right at him.

Cue awkward silence.

…"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well are you going to tell me how you just disappeared?!"

"What? I didn't go anywhere!"

"Well you might as well have, you all but vanished."

"… I'm not following."

Hana gritted her teeth before answering.

"You… utterly… disappeared. I was tracking you and I couldn't find one single bit of you after a certain point."

Naruto's face scrunched up in honest confusion this time.

"Why were you tracking me?"

For the first time in the conversation, Hana hesitated.

"I… uhh… That's beside the point."

"I think you tracking me like a rabbit or something is a big point."

"It was…a… a game!" Hana seemed rather proud of her quick thinking.

Naruto's eyes lit up and he rolled to his feet.

"Awesome!"

Hana took a step back at the increase of enthusiasm.

"Ummm…"

"If you can't find me 2 hours, you owe me free ramen!"

"Wait, what?"

"And if you can find me…" Naruto scratched the back of his head and looked over in the distance. A light suddenly appeared over his head.

His grin turned mischievous and Hana had the feeling that this wasn't going to end well.

"I'll tell you how I disappear!"

She instantly perked up and returned her own feral grin.

"Oh you're on, blondy."

"Awesome!" Naruto shot his fist up into the air before taking a step backwards.

With a wink and a wave he dived behind a tree.

Hana noticed his smell suddenly lacking any location.

She quickly pursued around the tree and found…

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing. No tracks, no scent except for the animals, or even a trace of chakra.

He just utterly disappeared… again.

Hana let out a snarling like sound and began searching around for signs of his passing.

In her search she missed two ravens who both gave the strangest impression that they were smirking… and for completely different reasons.

* * *

The Hokage's Tower always held a stillness about it. A silence. Though silent, one couldn't say it was oppressive. The Hokages of the past had made sure that their main place of work was open and even inviting.

Ninja just had a way of going about their business. Silent. That of course didn't stop birds from singing or the streets natural noise from filtering in.

But the moment was that of morning, the birds had just begun to warm their wings, and the streets had yet to fill.

That is why the light clacking of hard shoes was so easily discernable, even to the civilian secretary of the Hokage.

The secretary blanched as she first noticed the sound and turned her full attention away from her little pile of work to the sounds origin. She knew what appointment was scheduled, but it didn't stop her from being surprised by the sound.

She stood, slightly, behind her desk to peek around the doorway. Almost as if on cue, the figure emerged and revealed itself… or should we say herself.

The woman was, for lack of a better word, dazzling.

Raven tresses hung like a curtain of night, lolling down her shoulders almost carelessly. On those same shoulders hung the edges of a crimson kimono, seemingly ready to droop at a moment's notice and reveal just a sliver more of skin.

The same kimono, which at a second glance almost appeared to be a robe with how it barely scrapped the ground, a flowery pattern weaved its way across the cloth before drifting to the side revealing fine legs. They were no doubt muscular, but they weren't pronounced in the slightest. At the very bottom, the reason for the clacking sound found blame in high heel shoes reminiscent of Tsunade of the Sannin.

The only thing betraying that this woman was not a goddess given flesh was the Konoha headband, embedded in the leather binding her breasts. It was impossible not to look at it without taking a good glance at the woman's cleavage, which while not much more than the secretary's own, was much more pronounced and eye catching thanks to the kimono.

It was odd almost how easily overlooked her face was, it was just as striking as the rest of her but at the same time… easy to forget. The secretary had met the woman on several occasions but every time after, the moment she went out of sight, for the life of her she couldn't remember the women's face.

Finally, green eyes sparkled mischievously as the women took notice of the secretaries taking in of her figure.

"Now now now Atsuko-kun." The secretary, now named Atsuko, snapped her head up to meet eye to eye with the woman. The women's voice matched her appearance to a letter. Invitingly warm with a tinge of authority. "There will be time to drink in the appearances of pretty ladies later."

Atsuko blushed atomic red and sputtered out, "I-I wasn't-"

"I'm sure you weren't dear, but I believe I am here to see Sarutobi-kun." A gentle smile graced crimson lips.

"Oh, yes. Right away." The secretary pushed a small red button on a metallic contraption on her desk and leaned into.

"Hokage-sama, Division Director Kiku-sama is here to see you."

A moment of silence other than the shuffling papers behind closed doors.

A light came on the same device Atsuko had just spoken to, before the Hokage's voice projected itself outwards.

"Yes, send her right in Atsuko-chan."

"The Hokage will see you now." She motioned with her hands to the door, only making eye contact for a moment before becoming incredibly focused on a pencil that lay on her desk.

"Thank you, Atsuko-kun." Another far too inviting and pleasant smile.

As Kiku took clacking strides to the door, she winked at one corner and waved her fingers at another. Both seemingly filled with nothing but shadow.

She cracked a small smirk, lightly indicating held back laughter.

The two hidden ANBU didn't find it funny though.

* * *

Sarutobi was a man that had good tastes.

People assumed that when someone got truly powerful that they just let other people handle smaller things. While this was true for some Kages and such but he had always been rather fond of handling all his own little chores.

He had made the formerly Spartan-like Hokage's living complex into an extremely cozy little compound that messengers and delivery men often had small scuffles about who would get to go to it.

He refurnished most, if not all, of the Hokage's Tower with fine, but not gaudy, paintings and some of the finest rugs from Grass littered the floors and hallways.

Sarutobi also had excellent tastes in women. His wife, may she rest in peace, was one of the most terrifyingly beautiful women he had ever met. The woman put the Fire in "The Will of Fire". It was almost like some Shinobi romance story, with him falling for her after she burned down two whole squads of ANBU single handedly while he dealt with a near Boss level summon.

Even the pipe he puffed on was exquisite. A heavily herbal smoke puffed out, glazing the room over with a pleasant scent.

That was why Sarutobi could appreciate the woman sitting in front of him. She was, like him, someone with good taste. He could even admit that she outclassed him in that regard. Then again she did that with nearly everyone. Everything on the woman, while not always expensive, was always of the finest make.

It also helped that she was a vixen of the highest caliber and could make men (and a few women) drool with just a shake of the hip.

That's not even bringing in the factor that she was the epitome of the "Ideal Kunoichi" that was often preached across the Elemental Nations. Well… she appeared to be. She liked it that way, no doubt.

"Pleasure call Sarutobi-kun?"

The old man chuckled audibly.

"No, I'd rather not wake up dead."

The Kiku frowned, even if it was a teasing fake frown.

"I haven't done that in years Sarutobi-kun and you know that."

"Didn't someone once say that old habits die hard?"

"You act like I enjoyed all the deceit and back stabbing." A scandalous visage.

The man could only look at her with a blank face.

She relented slightly and admitted, "Ok, I maybe a little."

"And that's why you were so good at it my dear."

"Oh my, praise from the Hokage. Be still my racing heart!" Of all the things the girl inherited from her old sensei, the flair for dramatics was probably the most amusing. She smiled from behind her hand that she had brought up to cover her face.

"So if it's not pleasure and it must be business." She pursed her lips. "And I can't recall the time I ever had to come directly to you for something… except…"

She leaned forwards, unfolding her legs. Her eyes wide and amusement danced freely in them.

"You," she motioned towards Sarutobi. "Found someone of interest."

She smirked and leaned back into a comfortable position, crossing her legs again. Her hands came together and she propped her chin upon them.

Sarutobi let out a deep chuckle from the stomach, causing smoke to roll out of his mouth like a furnace. The reason he chuckled was the simple fact that she no doubt figured this all out some time ago and more than likely planned out this whole little charade.

"Right, like always, Kiku-chan."

An ornate fan spread, covering her face from view with a flowery pattern. She was smiling behind it of course.

"Now the question is, whom?"

"You know him actually."

"Him?" Sarutobi had to suppress his smirk at her surprised tone. Kiku was not someone easily surprised.

"Yes him."

It was honest surprise. Kiku was a little discriminatory when it came to that. It was partially from the reason that she couldn't stand most male ninjas. She classified most if not all as "little boys who couldn't stand losing at the their continent wide pissing contest". That's not to say that some women didn't have the same problem. It was also a factor that most men lacked the... finesse she required of her underlings.

Her work didn't produce instant gratification and as much as many of them claim, most ninja needed that. They wanted that legendary name, big bounties on them, and their name in that fancy section of the bingo book.

Kiku should be at the legendary level though.

But no. Most villages viewed her as harmless. An unremarkable Jounin whose only claim to fame was her former sensei and team mate.

If they knew half the things she did, she would be kill-on-sight in three major Ninja villages. That is, if they could even recognize her.

The fan still covered her face as she responded.

"I haven't noticed anyone interesting enough for a personal meeting between us… "The fan snapped shut and revealing a wild smile. "He must be very good then."

"It's actually not what you think."

She cocked her head, demurely.

Sarutobi cracked a grin before producing a familiar ball.

"Why don't I just show you?"

She nodded and looked on expectantly.

The ball seemed to fill with a twirling haze the moment Sarutobi touched his fingers to the seemingly thin glass.

It twisted before settling and slowly unfogging. An image becoming more and more clear.

It was apparently a small apartment. Fairly untidy, the young man's Kiku was sure. A t-shirt with an orange spiral was in the center of the ball and seemed to be the main focus.

Sarutobi shifted the perspective until they had looked all around that particular apartment. Other than a large amount of ramen and a stuffed closet there was nothing very noteworthy.

"Hmmm, not at home. Not wearing…" Sarutobi's eyes unfocused. "Oh."

The old man focused some before…

The ball fogged quickly and began twirling again. This time it focused quicker.

The sight that greeted Kiku was…

"No offense to either of them but…" Kiku backed away skeptically. "Minato-kun wasn't even worthy of noting when it came to infiltration skills and Kushina-chan was a bit too loud for anything requiring great stealth."

The son of the two figures sat on a tree branch and seemed to be talking to himself. His feet dangled lazily, swishing back and forth. A peculiar raven-like bird sat at his side and seemed to start making some sound, maybe a caw.

Kiku became even more perplexed when Naruto grinned at the bird and began talking again… but this time right towards the black bird.

"Is he…?"

"Yes, he is talking to the bird."

"But…" Kiku, perhaps one of the greatest Intelligence Directors that Konoha has ever had and S-Ranked Infiltrator, was utterly confused.

As far as Sarutobi could remember, this hadn't happened in a decade or two.

"And that's not the weirdest part." Kiku made eye contact before focusing entirely on the orb infront of her. She was literally on the edge of her seat.

"Something to do with the Kyuubi?"

"No, believe it or not." She shot a glance at him again.

"Then…" She quirked an eyebrow as he seemed to stiffen before swing his head to look behind him. He hopped off the branch and…

Kiku's mouth stood agape.

What landed on the ground wasn't a boy of any kind. It was…

"…A cat?"

"Now tell me this isn't worthy of some attention."

She took brief note of a feral girl landing in the spot Naruto had occupied a moment before, but the glass fogged back up before becoming crystal clear once again.

Kiku regained her composure quickly and waited for Sarutobi to provide some sort of an explanation.

"As you can guess, the boy's got the good making of becoming a good infiltrator and I'll tell you that he isn't limited to just that of a cat." 'The Professor' smirked. "I trust I don't need to fill you in on the boy's information."

Kiku wasn't often the underdog in a conversation, so it was natural that Sarutobi caught the slight tightening around the eyes. She had to hold back a glare.

"Naruto Uzumaki. Academy Student. Container of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki. Blonde, cerulean eyes. Insane stamina that could be attributed to the Kyuubi…" She finished with the monotone report before becoming a bit more familiar and intimate. "… Or his mother. Loves ramen and fixates on the color orange. Is often tributed with several pranks but as of late couldn't be called out on any of them. Not enough evidence or just too fantastical of a claim. Wants to be the Hokage and ironically protect the village."

Sarutobi frown at the last part. If it was anyone else, he might have thought they might have meant 'also' or some other word. Not Kiku though… she knew what she meant and so did he.

"I check up on him on occasion." Sarutobi of course knew this, just like he also knew that a copy of all Naruto's information landed in his former, perverted student's hands some way or another.

"Yes well, it seems your info will have a new addition."

"And how exactly should I word that addition, hmmm?"

"The first reported Coyote Summoner."

Kiku masterfully hid any of her surprise. Last time was an utter accident and she no doubt felt some amount of embarrassment.

"Coyote. I don't believe I have heard of that tribe."

"Not surprising. I had to ask Enma to find any information."

A quirked eyebrow. The air shifted. It became strangely formal.

"Is it some chakra technique?"

"That is something I am not even sure about. To my knowledge, he has never gotten tired just from transforming. We would have to ask him. As far as I can tell it is some sort of inheritance from the tribe."

"Any known limitations? I can assume that bird was one of those summons."

"I can't always find him, but I've yet to see him change into a female and he seems to have had a hard time with changing into an animal until a year ago. I believe that he has had that summon with him continually, whom I've seen take both male and female forms."

"That begs the question, how long has he had the contract."

"Three years, give or take a few months."

Kiku's fan spread out, her eyes becoming a bit less half-lidded. "Oh my. If he's had that one summon around for three years…"

"He's got the coils for it, thanks to the Kyuubi partially."

"And you know what they say about guys with big chakra reserves."

Sarutobi sputtered out smoke and went into a hacking cough. Kiku closed the fan and tapped it on her cheek with a ponderous expression.

"I suppose if he's anything like Minato-kun he would end up breaking a few hearts by his late teens."

Sarutobi had recovered from the bluntness the usually subtle woman has displayed.

"9-years-old!"

Kiku let out a lady-like scoff.

"It's not like I am chasing the boy myself, too much like Minato-kun for my tastes…"

Sarutobi sighed.

"…Then again, if he can transform…"

He palmed his face. He should have known better than to put Kiku in that situation earlier.

"…I wonder if he can transform into _anything_ …"

_'That's it, after this I am getting out the 'good stuff' '_

He glanced up at her. He found her deep in thought or at least appearing that way.

"Are you quite done, Kiku-chan."

She snapped out her thoughts or once again appeared to. She seemed a just-little-bit too surprised to notice him there.

"I'm not sure what you mean Sarutobi-kun."

He cleared his throat and straightened his back, signaling a returning to the business at hand.

"You've no doubt surmised the asset he would be to the Infiltration and Sabotage Division."

"Of course but what do you purpose we do exactly? Not like we can induct an academy student into a branch of ANBU without some unrest."

"You act like you don't already have ideas for him, Kiku-chan. He's like you and your techniques in some regards, only much more advance."

"Well…" She cocked her head to the side, her hair glimmered strangely. Almost looking red. She then cocked it the other way, it shined again. This time stark white. "I have a few. Most of which would let him stay on a normal ninja track until around, let's say, Chuunin?"

"Around Chuunin is good, lets him be on a team and form some bonds but even Genin is a few years off for him." He frowned around his pipe, smoke puffing out of the top. "But that's good time he could be learning important skills, but I suppose he could refine his own through pranks and personal practice."

"You suppose but…" Kiku let out a wicked grin that would have scarred a lesser man. "I have a better idea."

She reached out with her fan and tapped a paper on the Hokage's desk. It was a paper that reported on several curriculum that teachers would be teaching at the academy. She tapped on one in particular.

His eye brow went up several notches.

"I see a little bit of the sadism of yours is still there."

"Well you never said he wouldn't be able to turn fully into a female sooner or later."

The Third Hokage couldn't help but feel some amount of regret.

_'Definitely getting out the 'good stuff''_

* * *

"You know…" Naruto began as he twisted his chop sticks around, twirling the ramen into a big ball. "There was once or twice where you were really close."

He popped the ball of ramen in his mouth and began munching. He glanced down and found a lone naruto twirling to the side. A second later and it had some company in his mouth.

People who had seen Naruto dining on ramen can attest to one fact. He didn't eat it.

He inhaled it.

That is unless one certain condition is met.

Someone else pays for it.

It was easy to believe that the boy would simply eat someone's wallet out when they offer to pay, but truthfully he savored it.

He wasn't sure, but when someone else paid for his ramen… it… was…heavenly. It's wonderful when he pays, but free?

Needless to say, Naruto found out that stuff was even better when it was free.

Of course the person paying never knew this, so they could only assume he was mocking them with his strange increase of manners.

Naruto tipped the bowl into his mouth and drained the rest of the contents before smacking it down and releasing a happy sigh.

His eating partner grumbled as she poked at her ramen.

"Come on cheer up! I'll give you another chance to buy me ra…" He caught himself a little too dramatically to be fake. "To catch me!"

The dog girl's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What happened today was pure fucking luck."

"Then I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He wagged his eyebrows in what he supposed was a comical manner. He had seen Te'telo do it several times when making jokes about women that he never really understood.

Hana quirked an eyebrow. _'Did he really just…'_ She shook her head to clear it. _'Nine-year-olds don't make perverted jokes.'_

"You shouldn't waste ramen nee-chan." She glanced at the boy as he wagged his chop sticks at her with a scolding tone.

"My name is Hana," she corrected through clenched teeth.

"Don't change the subject Hana-nee-chan."

The girl laid her head on the table and whispered out, "Insufferable."

"I don't even know what that means, but if it means that you're wasting good ramen then it can go die in a fire."

Her head came up and she starred at him with a glimmer of curiosity.

"Good ears." She commented.

"I…" Whatever Naruto was about to say was interrupted by another bowl of ramen being placed infront of him. "You read my mind old man!"

He dug in with relish. Hana could only sigh as casual conversation was overlooked for simple ramen and start picking at her own dish again.

"So…" Naruto said with a full mouth. He noticeably gulped it all down. "You like dogs a lot or something?"

Hana gave him a blank stare. Her three dogs, who were lazing about after running around the forest for the better part of the morning, simply lifted their heads and joined their mistress.

"What?" He asked after a moment of intense silence. He decided to get some extra ramen in if they were just going to sit there and say nothing.

"You really don't know who the Inuzuka are?"

"Inu-who?" which came out as "Ira-roo" due to Naruto's full mouth. He swallowed, again with relish, and smacked his lips. "You talking about that Kiba guy?"

"Yea, he is my brother. We are both part of the Inuzuka clan."

Naruto nodded his head for a second, faking understanding, but quickly perked up.

"OH! You guys are the guys with the talking dogs and stuff?" He rounded on the closest dog, Eki the only female of the triplets. "Can you talk?"

Eki let out a low, unmenacing growl. A definite "Not yet", if you could understand dogs that is.

"Oh…" Naruto looked a bit disappointed. He frowned. "Whatever. You'll figure it out!"

Hana was about to continue eating before something picked at her…

"Did you just understand her?"

"Huh?"

Hana frowned. _'No, that's not possible.'_

Naruto scratched the back of his neck for a moment before shrugging.

"Sorry, I thought you…" She trailed off as he become uninterested and ended up rubbing Eki on the head. "Never mind."

"You say something?" He looked upwards with a confused expression.

Another sigh of frustration.

The boy shrugged and turned back to the dog.

"You guys are cool." Hana realized that Naruto was indeed talking to her dogs even though he had no idea if they understood him or not.

"But cats are cool too."

Four deadpan faces looked right at him.

"What? Man, you four look so much alike right now…"

Hana felt her eyebrow tick.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?!" She tackled him out of his stool and they were once again on the ground. She shook him… again. She wasn't usually set off by such simple things but the boy had been raking on her nerves.

"I-I-I-I a-a-a-a-m-m-m j-j-j-u-u-s-s-s-t." Hana stopped her shaking and brought his face right up to hers. Her eyes were narrow and Naruto's danger sense was going haywire.

"I-I'm just saying…" He made a hesitant little shrug. "A c-cat is fine too."

Hana could only look at him incredulously. She let go of his shirt and slowly raised herself to her feet.

With a dusting of her hands she corrected the stools they both sat on.

With that, the two settled into an awkward silence with the two workers of the ramen stand as witness.

"Sorry."

Naruto turned to her a little meekly, but that was before he noticed her half empty bowl of ramen.

"I'll forgive you if you stop messing around and eat you're ramen."

The previous silence was forgotten as they stepped back into conversation.

"Oh come off it. It's some good noodles but it's not something worthy of worship."

There were two gasps, from Ichiraku and his daughter. Hana gave them a strange, confused look before realizing they were looking at Naruto.

She turned to find his head lowered, his hair covering his eyes from view.

The Haimaru Triplets back pedaled away from the scene, their animal instincts shouting at them to do so.

A deep growl originated from somewhere in the blonde boy's chest that had Hana quirking an eyebrow.

"What's your pro-AHHH!" She let out a loud yell as it was Naruto's turn to tackle her to ground, with a snarl no less.

"How dare you?! Ichiraku's is the best damn ramen in the world!" Neither noticed that they were again in a compromising position.

Hana used her superior size and rolled over, gaining the upper hand.

"There's no way you can even know that you little punk!"

Hana relented for a second, which proved foolish as Naruto showed strength a boy of his size shouldn't really have and once again claimed the high ground in their little tussle.

"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!"

* * *

"Ace?"

"Hmmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Proving that bitch wrong!" Naruto exclaimed loudly as he drove his fist into the air. Under him lay a map of what could only be the Elemental countries. One particular spot had a large red circle around it.

"You mean the one that was all over you? About what?"

"Yea, Hana something-or-other. She said Ichiraku's wasn't the best ramen in the world and I'm gonna show her the wrongness of her ways!"

"And how exactly are you gonna do that in…" He glanced at the map. "… Lightning Country?"

"Well, you know that festival we got next week?"

Te'telo deadpanned at him, "No…"

"Oh come on you know the one…" Naruto sighed. "The one where you pretended to be that one mean ladies dress that just 'disappeared' in the middle of town?"

"Oh the MILF Festival!"

"You never told me what that means…"

Te'telo shifted into a strange old, white haired man with an exaggeratedly long mustache.

"There are some things you must learn on your own, grasshopper."

"I tried, I swear! That one lady at the store wouldn't explain it though… she just got all red…"

Te'telo, once again a coyote, did a small double take and raised an eyebrow._ 'I was so right, this kid is the epitome of entertaining.'_ "You just keep asking the older ladies, I'm sure one will answer you sooner or later."

Te'telo almost winced when he thought of when Naruto actually found out what it meant. He would probably either make his life hell or wrap one of those exploding pieces of paper around his tail. Then again… _'If he gets laid, I'll get a thank you.'_

He decided he liked that scenario better. He then remembered the _'MILF Festival' _(as he liked to call that certain festival because of the above mentioned 'mean lady') and the Lightning Country.

"Oh yea, what's the festival got to do with all this."

"Well, I got the whole week off from the Academy for the Spring Festival" Te'telo mentally reminded himself _'MILF Festival'_. "I could skip but a whole week straight would probably really piss them off and…"

"And…?"

"And this town in Lightning Country just so happens to have a second part added to the festival to bring in a lot of guests." He traced the red circle on the map over and over again while grinning.

"And that is…?"

"The Spring _Ramen_ Festival."

* * *

_**AN: **_

_**Kiku: The ANBU Intelligence Director. Ibiki reports to her and so does a few other divisions of ANBU. Only the ANBU Commander and the Hokage are above her in rank. Interesting factoid, she isn't technically an OC. You see her in the Naruto Anime but she looks much different and is alot younger. I won't directly say who, but there are a few hints.  
**_

_**Next chapter is wacky hijinks at the "Spring Ramen Festival". It may just have a few cameos of well known characters.And of course Ramen, don't forget the ramen.**_


	5. Road Trips Don't Always Involve Roads

* * *

_**It's been awhile guys and gals and here's another installement of my award-winning series The Barking Trickster**_

* * *

_The Barking Trickster_

Chapter 4

_Road Trips Don't Always Involve Roads_

* * *

The diamond ring twinkled in the artificial light of the jewelry store. Long glass cases, filled with glistening displays, rolled out on all sides. The displays were varying in shape and size but all had a singular similar trait: They were expensive. This shop didn't peddle in the cheap stuff and definitely wasn't for those of poor standing, or the foolish.

"I was just wondering how much I could sell it for," The man wasn't tall. He wore a brown trench coat, with a white shirt and red tie laying over it. He also wore a bowler hat, with grey hairs peeking out the sides, matching his big, bushy mustache. He was a very unthreatening man, but he appeared proud for some reason or another. "It was my mother's, may she rest in peace."

"Hmmm…" The diamond ring twinkled again in the artificial light. A large, brown eye peered through an inspecting eye piece, magnifying the size of the eye several times. The enormous eye blinked before pulling the piece away.

He man behind the counter shook his head slightly. He was a crooked looking man. His hook nose was off center at the tip and gave the idea that he could smell your fear and other things hidden from sight. He was also bald, which served to make him even more raptor-like in appearance.

He set down the ring and seemed together his hands ontop the glass counter.

"Well…" He licked his lips. "It's not precisely bad."

The man in brown's mouth became a bit thinner.

"It's not a bad diamond, but the cutter was obviously not that skillful and there are a few other things…" He trailed off

"Such as?" The seller had become a bit weary.

"For one thing, there is an imperfection," He held up the monocle and the diamond to the man. "See?"

The man put his eye to the glass and the glass to the diamond. After a moment of intense searching he responded with a hesitant, "Well, no…"

"Well it's there, I assure you and I'm an expert," The voice held superiority like a cup holds water.

"I suppose so, but what price are we looking at?" The man seemed to want to be in any other place but there.

"Oh, I'd say around…" He tapped his chin and squinted in thought, he wrote some numbers down on a sheet of paper and slid it over towards the man. "Yes, that's about right. "

The man's mouth stood open as he looked at the number.

"But… but that was my mothers and my father paid more than double that for it."

"Well, then I'm afraid to tell you that your father was scammed. There is a bad color hue, the clarity is off and the cutter, like mentioned, was a novice. Then there's the imperfection…"

"Yes, yes, well I get the idea. I'll take my business to a pawn shop." He reached out for the diamond ring, grasping his hand around it and simultaneously, grabbing a brown brief case from ground that was apparently his. He was about to turn when the store owner spoke up.

"Oh, well then it's in your best interest that I tell you most, if not all, shops come to me for evaluation and if you scam them…" The jewelry man went mock pale. "It could end… nastily for you."

The seller in the bowler hat clenched his teeth, mid turn. He slowly looked around at the jeweler.

"Make it a bit more then."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, that previous offer was generous."

"I highly doubt that."

"Once again, sir." The 'sir' was said with an undertone of mockery. "I was more than fair, take it or take your business out of Konohagakure."

The man sighed, defeated.

"It was my mothers…" He frowned. "So be it, but in cash."

The bird-man behind the counter scratched his chin for a moment, mulling the words over. He then shrugged, grudgingly.

"You have a deal, my good man. One moment, let me grab the money from the safe." Neither took notice of the other man smiling.

* * *

It was a sunny day in Konoha, one of those days where everything seemed nice and pleasant. Ones that made you feel like going out just so you could feel the bliss of going back to the nirvanic insides of the cool stores.

Not all was nice and wonderful though. Konoha, for all its grandeur, wasn't perfect. One great example of this was the small population of homeless. They didn't run rampant and Konoha was generally a good place to live. You could camp out, but those who ventured in to the more aristocratic and expensive side of the Leaf, well they were often treated with great distaste.

One such homeless man, a heavily bearded fellow who camped out in one of many wooded training grounds, was going about his way, bathing in a big stream. He was down to his pants and scrubbing his hair and scalp.

"Beautiful day isn't it?"

The homeless man instantly seized up and rounded on the bank of the water where his cloths lie. Beside them stood a man in a brown trench coat, bowler hat and holding a briefcase of similar color. He was smiling.

"Yea…" The man was immediately suspicious."I suppose."

"Yep," The man smiled still. He paused quickly, realizing he was there for a reason apparently as he said. "I've got a little something for you from that jewelry store owner near this side of town."

The man in the stream instantly stiffened and came on the defensive. His teeth gnashed and his eyes were narrowed.

"What does that bastard want, hmm?"

"Oh, he doesn't want anything, but it's from him still." The man on the bank produced several bills and casually dropped them onto the other mans shirt. When the wet man's attention turned back to the other man's face, he winked and a very child-like grin spread across his face. He then said earnestly, "Have a nice day."

And with that, the man casually walked down the stream-side, whistling. He made his way back to Konoha proper, leaving a very bewildered man in the water.

* * *

Tap, tap, tap.

Naruto looked over at his window, slightly perturbed.

Tap, tap, tap.

He walked over to the window, leaving the bag he was packing half full. He stood infront of it, glaring down at the offending tapper.

Tap, tap, tap.

He put his face right down beside the glass, rising an eyebrow in challenge.

**TAP!**

He opened the window with a grimace.

"Ya know, I have a door," Naruto grumbled as the tapping crow entered the room and quickly shifted into the familiar form of Te'telo, who was looking innocently confused.

"Door? What sort of human invention is that?"

"Ha…ha." Naruto deadpanned, he quickly shrugged it off though. "So, what happened after I left?"

"Oh boy…" Te'telo's grin got a little devilish. "The moment the bell above the door rang with you leaving, he flipped over the closed sign and practically ran to the back room."

"So he did scam me, I figured."

"Oh yea, big time. You should have seen this guy examining me." Te'telo quickly shifted into a mangled caricature of the jeweler. The nose was massive and he was lankier than an electrical pole.

"Ho ho ho ho ho ho!" The fake man laughed disturbingly, causing Naruto to cringe and cover his ears.

"Ok, I'll stink bomb Anbu headquarters if you promise never to do that again."

"Deal!" It was said in Te'telo's voice, but while looking like the man. This was, as you can imagine, very strange.

"Uhh… I was kidding."

"Too late!"

Naruto glanced at his companion, recalling the last time they had a back and forth childish argument that ended, in some strange way, with Naruto removing all the doors in the Academy. Te'telo was either as stubborn as an ox or childish enough to not stop arguing, maybe both. With that Naruto learned never get into a petty argument with Te'telo.

"Whatever, later. Not now."

"Yea, yea." Te'telo paused. "Well, he was laughing his ass off while examining me through this crazy looking…" Te'telo waved his paw, conjuring up an appropriate, unspoken noun.

"After a while, he ran into the other room while grinning. I just buzzed away." Te'telo's mouth stretched into a patented grin.

"That reminds me, did you really have a flaw?" Naruto said, absentmindedly looking around for other items of importance.

"Pshh, as if." Te'telo scoffed. "You know how hard it is to turn into a diamond, much less a flawed one?"

Naruto answered his question with one of his own. "But… wouldn't being flawed be easier?"

"Nah, turning into a pure diamond is fairly hard. Making it imperfect..." Te'telo's eyes boggled for a moment. "That's like you trying to turn into a weasel with wings and a snake for a tail."

Naruto's head cocked to the side.

"Could I really do that?"

"Well duh man, you can turn into an elephant made out of sapphire with giraffe necks for feet," Both paused, imagining the awkward animal for a moment. Te'telo snapped back out of his mind."You can, but that doesn't mean you are up to snuff for it. It's incredibly hard."

"Man, there's got to be an easier way to do this stuff."

"Well you can't just cheat your way through with junk like this. It would be sweet if you could…" Te'telo's eyes turned to the small wad of cash on the desk. "Speaking of cheating…"

"I gave some to the guy that bastard jeweler messed with."

Te'telo quirked an eyebrow.

"Well aren't we just becoming a valiant do-gooders. What will the other coyotes think?" He questioned scandalously.

"Think what they want, but we needed like what? Enough for ramen and maybe some other stuff?"

"Hey, money is an invention by you humans and the other greedy tribes that horde gold and shit. We coyotes don't need stuff like that, if we can't take it, we can cheat them out of it."

"It's nice to know I've got some of the most moral summons around."

Te'telo scoffed, "Morals are for virgins and prostitutes." Te'telo suddenly froze, realizing he just said two words that Naruto had a semi-idea about. This could become awkward.

"Prostitutes?" Naruto craned his neck towards Te'telo, from where he was still packing. "Where have I heard that before?"

The truth is, Naruto, for living in such a rundown neighborhood and having no direct caretakers (Te'telo would never fall into this category) he was surprisingly sheltered. Several women of questionable morals even lived in his building and he saw them on a daily basis and for all he knew they could be exercising in their rooms… all night.

Te'telo, after a nice chat with Oko and a small note from Kunula, had decided that it was best to keep young, innocent Naruto like that as long as possible. Plus, nothing beats an oblivious kid with shapeshifting powers running around having misadventures.

"Oh, well yes of course you've heard it before… it's…" Te'telo's always been a quick thinker. "A form of pottery."

Te'telo looked at Naruto with all his focus, waiting for that subtle nod or sign of acceptance.

Naruto himself was thinking, he quirked his eye brow. His mouth opened for a second, sifting through files in his mind. After a moment he shrugged and went back to packing, grabbing a few spare ration of ramen, just in case.

_'Crisis averted.'_ Te'telo thought with a relieved sigh.

"Alright!" Naruto said with much excitement after a moment. He grinned and turned to Te'telo. "Let's roll."

* * *

Sunsets are things of wonder really. That big burning ball of intense fire, hitting the horizon and setting the sky ablaze with colors. The ending of the day and beginning of the night. It's a time of change, a time of pure unadultered emotion.

Not surprisingly, Coyotes got very active and bouncy at this time. Twilight and dusk had that effect on animals, and as such Naruto was effected too. It's the burden of being connected too deeply with one's own instincts.

He resisted those urges to go run through fields and to look at on coming lights stupidly though, as he was at the moment trying to figure where the hell he exactly was.

"Soo…" He stretched over the unfurled map, he had to keep one hand on it at all times as the wind was blowing modestly. He blinked his eyes, covering them so that he could look down at the map without the sun blinding him.

He pointed his arm at the sun, "If that's West…"

He turned his entire upper body ninety degrees to the right, "Then that's North, but I still…" He paused, turning his head to the light sound of the wind being cut. A black crow was dive bombing straight for him, or straight near him atleast. A metallic object glittered in its teeth. It opened its wings, using the wind to slow it down and landing safely on the stone surface Naruto was sitting on, bouncing slightly.

"Could you find out where we are?" Naruto asked.

The bird, in response dropped the metallic object in his mouth, a headband obviously. It was upside down and Naruto proceeded to pick it up as Te'telo shifted into his standard form. The imprint of two rocks was on the headband causing Naruto to turn to Te'telo.

"Earth Country? Really?" To an outsider it might seem strange that Naruto didn't question how exactly Te'telo came into possession of the headband, but unlike said outsider, Naruto knew Te'telo had ways.

"Yep, there's a bit too many of those rocky-nin-whoevers here to be anywhere else but in Earth Country."

"Weird…" intoned the blonde summoner. They had only been flying for two days and they had covered alot of ground apparently.

"I know. I don't know how you got us here either man." Te'telo trailed off, looking at the unobstructed view.

"Wait…" Naruto's face scrunched up and he looked, slightly off kilter at Te'telo. "I was following you though."

"No, I was following you." Te'telo said matter-a-factly.

Naruto began nodding his, "I'm pretty sure I was following you."

Te'telo blinked in confusion, turning around.

"But I was following you…" He said with all honesty.

Awkward pause only interrupted by the sound of the wind.

"Let's just forget this for now." Te'telo proposed.

"Agreed." Naruto stood, immediately forgetting the conundrum that they had just encountered. "You know…"

Naruto peered down from his high point of view, looking down at a town that huddled around a large beach. It looked very inviting from where he was standing. Where exactly he was standing was a bit strange though. A large cliff, off to the side of the bustling town, jutted out into the ocean and on it's ledge sat a very large stone statue. Naruto was currently sitting on top of the statue's head, peering down at the village.

As far as he could figure it was probably some former ruler who was crazy as hell or wanted to glare at the sea alot.

"We should come back here sometime, it's a very cool looking town," Naruto finished.

"Yea, it's very relaxed. Lots of _nice_ ladies who find a cute puppy all too adorable."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow and turned to his comrade.

"I thought you were trying to figure out where we are…"

"I did! I swear, it's just ya know…" Te'telo paused. "Well actually I guess you don't."

Naruto scowled at the coyote.

"I'm tired of you hiding crap from me. You're going to tell me what you've been hiding this trip, believe it!"

Te'telo flinched.

"Please, never in the name of all that is holy ever say that again."

"What? Believe it?"

Te'telo flinched again.

"Believe it."

Flinch.

"Believe it." A foxy grin and another flinch.

"Stop it!" Te'telo jumped off the statue, shifting into the form of black bird and taking off.

"I'll stop it when you tell me what's going on, believe it!" Naruto hollered after him before diving off the statue himself and changing.

"Damnit Naruto, this isn't funny!"

"The hell it's not! Believe it!"

* * *

Two figures crouched low in a tree under the giant statue on the cliff, a pair of long delicate instruments pressed to the eyes of one of them. He lowered them, squinting at the form of the two fading birds-that-weren't.

"What is it sir? The ones who took your headband?"

"Yes… and much more." He stood, his face resolved as he turned to the other individual. "We must inform the Tsuchikage of this."

A nod was the only response and was followed immediately by them both flickering out of sight.

* * *

"Life's not fair."

Many people have said this but few have said it with the conviction that Daisuke was using at the moment.

"Oh just shut up," that was Ume, Daisuke's dusky skinned beauty of a Chuunin partner. Both of them were currently hanging their legs off of a very tall building that shot up into the fellow skyscrapers of the town they were passing through. The building was peculiar as it looked to be a mixture of traditional architecture mixed with concrete but with a little bit of hobo-hodge-podge sprinkled on top. No one ever accused Lightning Country of being normal though, especially when it came to their buildings.

"Well it's not!" The man complained while throwing his hands up, causing the headband around his forehead to glimmer in the artificial light of the city's night. Oval, cloud-like grooves ran over the surface. "All the other teams are having a freaking vacation and we are stuck doing the most boring mission in months!"

Ume glared at him before correcting, "Only about half the genin teams are off and only a select number of chuunin and jounin. Just because it's the Spring festival doesn't mean that missions stop coming. Actually, it probably means more missions!"

Her left hand drifted to her right arm's inscribed bracer, her eyes daring him to complain one more time.

"Jeeze, jeeze calm down," he held up his hands in an appeasing manner. "The client would probably notice if I was missing a liver or some appendages."

He tried to smile goofily but it was too no avail.

"Not likely, he's too drunk to even notice if someone cut off his balls and put them in his drink," Was her retort but it ventured off into misdirected contempt.

"Whoa whoa, not cool," Daisuke clutched himself. "Don't ever think or say something like that again, doesn't matter if he's some Daimyo's sleazy cousin, it's still not cool."

The woman huffed.

"Stop acting like these missions aren't important then." She mumbled to him. "If we do not keep up our fair share of missions, Kumogakure could look weak in the eyes of the other villages."

"Patriot through and through?"

"Always, Cloud above all else whether they be rock for brains, lost in mist or tree huggers."

Daisuke snorted before his eyes widened as Ume's did as well, simultaneously. They both had slid up and back on the slick roof, the female portion of the partnership unsealing a deadly looking sword from her bracer and Daisuke already going through handseals. His hands were already cackling with lightning when they both paused and felt…

…Like utter idiots. They stared at a pair of birds who had landed right beside them on the ledge, very silently but not silently enough. They were both black and very strange compared to most other birds in Lightning Country which tended to be white. Though, it was peculiar that neither seemed to react to the ninja's speedy movements and they settled for staring at the freaky humans.

Birds are weird.

"Shit…" Daisuke said, the electricity dissipating as he palmed his face. "I can't believe I nearly just toasted a couple of birds like a skittish Genin…"

Ume cursed under her breath and looked down. She shook her head and berated herself for her foolish and hasty actions.

"Were you guys talking about Konoha?" The (human) pair froze. Ume looked up slowly and Daisuke stretched his fingers apart slightly to peek between them.

"Did that bird just…?" Daisuke started.

"Talk?" That was the birds again but the other one apparently as it had a different voice. It cocked it's head to the side.

They both stood there, staring down the birds.

One of them cawed, causing a sigh of relief from both ninjas.

"That was so weird, I just imagined that those birds just talked to us," Daisuke said, turning to his partner who looked bewildered after realizing what he said.

"That's cause we did." The first bird that spoke said, it's voice had a child-like quality they noted.

Two seconds later, in eerie unison both of the chuunin cocked their heads to the side and their mouths fell open. Ume suddenly blinked.

"Oh, you guys must be Thunder Hawk summons," the girl reasoned and her partner was soon nodding and agreeing. The Thunder Hawks were basically synonymous with Kumogakure, seeing as two Raikage's summoned them and they were equivalent in power to any other major contract.

"Nope." The older sounding bird intoned with a shrug of its wings.

"Yea, we aren't," the other added on. "But seriously, were you talking about Konoha when you said tree huggers?"

Ume had been processing what the birds had said and took a step forwards. She nodded.

"If you are not Thunder Hawks," She took another step forwards, pretty much not thinking or considering the previous question and what it might have meant. "Then what are you? Crow Summons?"

"Nah, the Crows are a bit too freaky, if you get my drift. I'm a-" The bird found it's beak full of black feathers courtesy of it's companion who was… grinning?

Could birds grin? Apparently so.

"We'll tell you a secret if you tell us which way Okafu is."

It was very strange to be the underdog in a conversation, especially when you were several feet higher than the other party. Both Ume and Daisuke put up with this very well though.

"It's to the North West, from here." She said indicating with her head which direction it was.

The bird that still had his mouth covered shot daggers from his eyes at the other bird who blanched if it was possible for something with black feathers to do so.

"Hehe, sorry. You were right Te'telo," And like that the Chuunin learned the name of one of the unusual presumed summons.

"Alright, we told you something. Now about answering what you exactly you birds are."

The one bird lowered its wing and looked perplexed.

"Who ever said I'd tell you what we are?" Ume suddenly concluded 'nobody'. Her eyes narrowed as the bird continued. "But I will tell you a secret like I said."

It shot up with a flap, gliding and caming to a rest on Ume's right shoulder. It took her entire will to not recoil and attack the potentially dangerous creature.

It grinned again, waggling it's eyebrows that weren't there.

"We aren't even birds to begin with." A sudden hop and it tucked it's wings behind it, dive bombing below the building canopy and darting between two of them into a tall alley. It was towards the direction of Okafu.

The other bird simply saucily winked at Ume before following in suit.

"Watch the client Daisuke."

The addressed man turned to the girl, questioningly.

"I am going to go find a secure Kumogakure messenger to send this info to Intel, they would want to know if some strange summons we've never encountered before were running around."

Daisuke nodded sternly, becoming surprisingly serious for his usually procrastinating attitude. He crouched down over the railing as Ume disappeared and their client slept obliviously beneath the roof in the penthouse suite.

* * *

"Sandaime Hokage, there is a Ms.Namida here to see you. She says it's important." The electronically altered voice projected out from a small contraption under his desk, the Hokage's desk that is.

Sarutobi quirked an eyebrow, his hand stopped mid-signing. The document he was attending to was left alone as he pondered why exactly the Kunoichi Instructor was visiting him for something important. He of course knew her name, he knew every ninja's name, their rank, and had rudimentary knowledge of them. Some kages saw this as pointless but he preferred to know his soldiers on more than just a business level, even if it was only a shallow connection to begin with.

After a second of thought he frowned.

"No, there's no way she didn't…" His frowned deepened. "Damnit Kiku."

He pressed the small red button on the side of the device, "Send her in."

He leaned forwards retrieving his still smoking pipe from it's stand.

The door creaked up slightly, giving just enough berth for the woman to slid in with as little notice as possible. Sarutobi cracked a smile.

"Old habits die hard Suzume?"

"Yes they do sir," She strode forwards and sat down quickly, her posture was rigid as always. She wore a standard loose kimono, like all of her trade. She said nothing and Sarutobi didn't feel the need to begin this conversation.

She starred at the Hokage who knew why she was here and Sarutobi puffed on his pipe, looking slightly like a senile old man.

Suzume finally gave in to her better and admitted defeat by speaking.

"Sir, I'm here because of some discrepancies in my teaching roster."

Sarutobi nodded for her to go on.

"I consulted the Jounin Academy Administrator and he said that it was change made by someone higher up. I thought I should consult you."

Sarutobi decided not to play any games of verbal cat-and-mouse and just have a straight forward conversation for a change. For a little while atleast.

"I inspected them myself and I found no problems."

"Yes, while I don't doubt you in the slightest sir, it seems to me that Uzumaki has been assigned to the wrong class." She reached up to the side of her glasses and straightened them with a stern hand.

"I inspected them myself and I found no problems." Sarutobi reiterated.

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't see why he is in the class at all." She grimaced as her ruler quirked an eyebrow but continued none-the-less. "We both know the true purpose of the class and we both also know Madam Kiku wouldn't accept a male into her division."

Sarutobi grinned at the moniker Kiku's subordinates (ex and active) had chosen to be placed before her name. It did fit her in a way and Kiku no doubt thought it amusing

"I'm glad you excluded all of the boys faults from you're assessment."

"Well I considered those obvious."

"Yes, true enough." Sarutobi looked around for a moment before pulling out a special form. "You'll be happy to know that Naruto was placed there by _Madam_ Kiku herself." He chuckled a little bit at both using Kiku's "title" and at Suzume's own expression.

It was as if Sarutobi just told her that up was down, black was white, and that Jiraiya had become a celibate.

"I'm s-sorry, I'm afraid I misunderstood you."

Sarutobi held back a chuckle and said, "Kiku put him there herself so that he could be trained."

"B-but…" Suzume, usually well composed, shook her head like a crazy person. "That's… no. No."

She shook her head again. Sarutobi resisted hacking on smoke with laughter.

She settled finely on a word. A stupefied "What?"

"Well, Naruto is a special case, and not for the reasons you think."

Sarutobi kept grinning.

"So… there's a reason?"

"Certainly."

As long as there was a reason to madness, all was ok. Mostly.

Suzume waited patiently and Sarutobi was wondering if she actually expected him to tell her.

"May I have the reason?" Suzume was getting a little rid, though she was just freaked out so it could be semi-excused.

_'Semi'_ was the key part there. Sarutobi grinned devilishly, like he did often back during his Jounin Instructor days.

"You've been trained well Suzume, surely you can discover Kiku's motives."

Suzume paled. Playing games with masters was, while a rewarding experience at times, was never much fun.

"And why can I not just right out question the boy?" She said.

Sarutobi actually chuckled that time.

"Because he doesn't know why he is in the class either and if he did I doubt he would tell anyone. He tells less than he says."

She frowned, considering possible avenues to take this.

"And don't consider following him right now or at all for that matter," Sarutobi said preemptively.

She paused.

"And why exactly is that?"

"Well for one you couldn't find him, but I guess you would have learned that after awhile," Sarutobi was a very charitable person.

Suzume was still frowning as she stood and bowed.

"At your leave venerable Hokage."

"Good bye Suzume and good luck," He smiled as she bowed again and slid out the door.

The old Hokage swiveled his chair around to look at the window.

"This is starting to get very entertaining," He told to no one.

* * *

Poke, poke, poke.

A gurgled, half-asleep growl.

Then poking paused… before continuing.

Poke, poke-

"STOP IT!" Naruto had rounded on the offender and found himself staring straight into large, brown eyes. "Oh… sorry, I thought you were someone…"

He trailed off when he noticed that the person who had been poking him wasn't paying any attention to his words and was just staring bewildered.

"Y-y-you…" The person, a girl Naruto noticed, started. She was about fifteen and was wearing a white summer dress and had on a wide stray hat to shade her eyes from the sun.

"Sorry, like I said." He reached his hind legs up and scratched behind his ear. He realized at this point that he either was in his coyote form or that he had developed some insane triple jointed legs in his sleep.

He took stock of himself and found a lot of fur and four legs. Yep, looked like the first option.

"Oh…"

"Y-you're a talking dog…"

"Actually it's coyote, but yea I noticed."

"But…h- how?" The girl squeaked.

"Well, I'm not always a coyote ya know," he casually shifted into his regular form and was about to look around if not for the girl infront of him freaked out a little.

She had jumped and moved away, holding her arms up in a defensive position at first. Naruto looked at her while scratching the back of his head.

"I don't bite," Naruto wasn't sure if that was a pun or not, but it was an ice breaker none-the-less.

The girl seemed a little less freaked out and was slowly lowering her arms, Naruto took this time to glance around at his surrounding, nodding as the facts checked out with his memories from last night. One thing was missing though…

"…Te'telo…" He mumbled. He turned to the girl. "You don't happen to be Te'telo, right?"

She shook her head nervously, keeping her eyes wide and on him.

"I d-did find this though." She held up her hand, she was holding a note.

Naruto stepped forward, the girl stretching out her arm as far as possible so that she may stay as far away from the dog-turned-boy as possible. Naruto took it and groaned the moment he glanced at it.

Te'telo had many talents, writing wasn't one of them. Instead of using normal writing, or even the coyote's standard form of written communication, he used an exquisite form of "cuneiform". He basically drew crappy figures in a line to get his meaning across. Naruto had gotten use to deciphering these mangled images. The bottom was signed with a black ink paw mark and Naruto briefly wondered where exactly he had gotten ink.

The images were, in order, a bee, someone turned around, a hand holding up two fingers and a crescent moon with a few stars around it.

"'Be back tonight'," was the message from what he could gather. He frowned. "Where the heck did he get off to?" Naruto didn't try to control Te'telo, he doubt he could if he was that way, but he liked to keep tabs on him as Te'telo had a way of starting or attracting trouble.

"Who?"

Naruto blinked and turned to the girl in the simple summer dress.

"Oh, my buddy." Naruto shrugged. "We were just crashing here…"

Speaking of here, Naruto looked around at the garden him and Te'telo had found the night before to crash in. It was very pretty in the day, Naruto had always wanted to garden a little or keep a few plants but he couldn't find the time to actually learn anything about it. Still, that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy other's gardens and this garden took the cake as one of the most interesting he had found.

Okafu wasn't as large as Konoha, but where Konoha simple spread itself out, encompassing more and more room, Okafu had to shoot upwards as it was centered on a lake. It wasn't as tall as some of the other cities Naruto and Te'telo had passed over in their journey, many of which were built on the side of a cliff or mountain or were so massive that they might as well have been mountains, but it still held an interesting feel. It made it feel more homey, more personal than those massive skyscrapers.

Several bridges spanned across to the east and south-east which was the closest to land, while the west was nothing but the main portion of the massive lake and it would have been pointless to try and build a bridge that way. Where the bridges were connected to the land, small neighborhoods had sprung up, outskirt regions to the main brilliance of Okafu.

Overall Okafu was one of the cooler towns Naruto had ever visited and while it was no Konoha, it would be great for a vacation.

Naruto decided he liked it, especially with all the rooftop gardens he saw as he flew in. He would have visited one if he hadn't started gorging himself on ramen the moment they arrive last evening. Still, the decided to sleep in one of these gardens that night and it was slightly chilly so coyote form was a given.

"Sir…"

Naruto snapped out of his thoughts and found the girl looking at him.

"Sir?" He questioned the strange name.

"I was j-…just wondering how you turned into a dog!" She said the last bit extremely fast and was overcame by a massive blush of embarrassment.

Naruto stood and realized something. He had never actually came up with an excuse to tell people why he could transform. He could of course right out and tell them, but then they would know his secret.

'_Then again…' _Naruto looked around at the surrounding buildings. _'This isn't Konoha, so does it matter?'_

Naruto immediately decided that, no it didn't. He wasn't in Konoha, so who cares if they know someone is running around in the city with the Coyote Contract? They would never suspect him, especially if he just changed his looks.

'_This could become fun.' _He grinned excitedly before answering. "Well, it's cause I'm an awesome ninja and a super summoner!"

The girl seemed immediately elated. Citizens had become used to the very strange abilities of ninjas, and another one they hadn't seen before was understandable. If some extremely strange occurrence couldn't be explained it was very simple to call "ninja" and everything seemed to suddenly make sense. Ninjas were a universal excuse to civilians it seemed.

Missing shirt? Ninjas! Bad hair day? Ninjas! Immaculate conception? Darn ninjas! A strange odor that smells suspiciously like a dead corpse? God damn ninjas!

She conveniently didn't notice that he wasn't wearing a headband or that he was extremely young.

"Hey, do you know who has the best ramen at this festival?" Naruto questioned.

The girl thought for a moment before remembering something.

"Oh yea, there was a guy that won last year! His name was…" She thought for a moment before he eyes lit up. "Ganjou!"

"Ganjou?"

"It should sound familiar, he's from the famous noble chefs from the Ganjou clan ." She nodded in a matter-of-factly manner.

Naruto decided not to mention that he had no idea who the nobility in the area were or that he didn't particularly care about them anyways. But still, if his was the best.

"Ok, I'll check his stuff out." He winked at her before running towards the edge with a grin. He always loved this part.

"W-wait! What's…" Naruto didn't hear her calling out as he plunged off the ledge. Her face froze up in fright as she swung her head down, thinking she'll see his dead body on the ground below.

She then recalled him being a ninja and looked around for him, but found no trace of him or a dog. All that was around was the mid-morning routines of most people and a few birds zooming around.

She decided to finish her question anyways, "What your name?"

* * *

Yuu was a simple man. He liked relaxing, playing cards, and maybe even chasing a little tail. He was an everyday average man really, even though he was a ninja. Even then, as a ninja, he was simple. What worked, worked. What didn't, he didn't use. Whatever needs to be done, needs to be done. Simple and clean were the rules of his games.

This made Yuu one of the better of Kumogakure's Jounin but he stilled preferred relaxation.

As such he rather liked vacations. He hadn't had one in a while, since taking his team but he wasn't going to complain. He had one now and he was going to enjoy it… if not for one little problem.

"Another word and I will detach your scrotum boy."

Yuu grimaced.

His team was kind of fun, he could admit it. He never thought of a genin team as "Fun" before but it was definitely entertaining and kept him busy. He also didn't have to risk his neck too much and it left him with a sense of accomplishment.

"I can't help how beautiful you are my darling Naomi, it's so entrancing."

Still, he had ran on the assumption that ninjas only got really quirky later on when they had gone through a lot of tough missions and seen a lot of things. Coping mechanisms and all that… but wow. His team came with it's own bag of tricks which included one hopeless romantic boy, one "no-nonsense or someone dies" girl and another girl who was a bit too much of a yaoi fangirl for his piece of mind.

"That's it, I've had enough of your pointless advances." That was the first girl, Naomi, showing her love for her male teammate in the way she knew best. Through violence.

She never picked up on the fact that Ryota, the only male genin on the team, was mostly likely a masochist from the way he never complained when she was attacking him.

Still, it would not do to make a scene at the festival they were attending for much needed "stress relief from the daily hardships of ninja life". That was the way the official documents for the little trip were worded.

"Sit back down Naomi, I'll get you and Ryo a room later and give you guys enough alone time so you can beat him down in there to your heart's content." He said, gesturing to one of the many stools at the ramen stand they were sitting at. Similar stands were lined up all around, serving their wares.

Naomi started nodding before realizing that there was a sly trick slipped in there.

"Nice one sensei!" This brought the fourth member of their team from her little fairly tail land that lay inside of various yaoi manga and mags she carried around… everywhere. The girls name was Kaede and she had the wonderful ability to make Yuu and Ryota creeped straight the hell out by just looking at them with a dreamy face.

They have never asked what she imagines, and hopefully she'll never decide to share.

Yuu did his best to look as innocent as possible while eating his bowl of ramen. Naomi starred him down with narrowed eyes and a look that promised misfortune.

"We shouldn't even be here sensei, we should train if we wish to take the Chuunin Exams this year," Naomi finally let them see the main pillar of her frustration.

"Now, now Yuu. All work and no play makes ninjas into freaking psychopaths." He said with a grin.

Naomi fumed while Ryota began making a comment about how cute her pout was. Luckily he was interrupted, as Yuu doubted Naomi would spare him this time.

Yuu stiffened, feeling minuet traces of killer intent radiating from someone that was no his student. He quickly turned his head.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?" This got the three genin's attention, as well as everyone else in the area, and they all swung around to look at the stall beside the one they were sitting at.

The stand was one of the more decorated ones and it's appearance alone told you that you would be spending a lot of money. A young, redheaded boy was currently standing in his stool, one leg ontop of the counter and he was shaking one of his hands in a fist at the chef while the other pointed to the ramen bowl that no more than two or three bites could have been taken from.

"You little ingrate," the wide chef with a thin handlebar mustache started. His voice oozed pompous. "That is one of the greatest tasting ramen dishes in the world."

The man might have just slapped the boy in the face.

"You're out of your mind! This tastes like crap!"

The boy might have just slapped the man in the face.

"Insolent child, I'll have you know that the Ganjou Ramen Recipe is one of the tastiest dishes in our collection. It's fine cuisine."

"I don't know what the hell cuisine means, but it might as well mean crap and fine crap is still crap!"

"Stop your senseless blubbering, you already paid for the dish you don't have to eat it if it's too sophisticated for your barbaric taste buds."

The crowd, the ninja team included, had been looking on with captivated crowd interest. Their heads moved between the two as they spoke.

"You can take your crappy ramen back and give me my money."

The chef grew red…red…red…red. He looked ready to explode.

"This ramen is made with the most expensive ingredients in the Elemental Countries! It's a dish of the gods and your asking for your money back? You little fiend! Get away from me and my humble establishment!"

"As soon as you give me my money back."

The chef had grabbed a frying pan, finally popping. He swung the frying pan at the boy, causing Yuu to immediately jump from his seat. He was about to stop the offending hand when the boy did that himself.

Yuu blinked for a moment.

'_Is this kid a…'_

The boy let out a vicious snarl, grabbing the man by the scruff of his chef's jacket and tossing him straight over the counter into the middle of the lane where they stalls were lined up.

The boy stalked forwards. He reached into the man's pockets and pulled out his wallet. He riffled through it for a moment before pulling out what could be assumed was the exact price of his dish and throwing the wallet ontop the man sprawled on the ground.

"You can keep the ramen, consider it a present," he said with a sneer before he started mumbling about "tainted ramen" and "horrible chefs" and walking away.

The boy didn't notice Yuu's transfixed face on his arm, where for the briefest moment, which was long enough for most ninjas, a decent portion of a strange summoning tattoo was shown.

He turned to the team, silently motioning for them to follow.

* * *

"Sensei…"

"Yes Kaede?"

"Why are we following this boy?"

"Well…" Yuu trailed off staring intently at the boy walking from ramen vendor to ramen vendor trying their different styles and tastes. They had been watching him for several minutes by now. "I doubt any of you noticed back there or even since we've been watching him but there's something very interesting about him."

"Sensei! You shotacon you!" yelled Kaede. "Why didn't you tell me!?"

It's hard to describe the amount of embarrassment/disgust Yuu felt at this moment. Ryota slowly edged away from his sensei with wide eyes and tried to lay his head on Naomi's shoulder. The boy had priorities.

"Kaede…" The girl was still smiling as Yuu spoke. "I'm taking away all your dirty mags for the rest of the trip for that."

"Oh sensei, if you wanna barrow them you can. I love to share."

Yuu flinched.

"Damnit Kaede, after this I'm burning the whole lot of them with a lightning bolt."

Victory signs had materialized into Ryota's hands and he was vigorously waving them as Kaede's face fell.

"Now, back to business…" Yuu ran his hands through his hair. "That kid has a summoning tattoo."

There were three different versions of confused exclamation after that from his three students.

"You mean like…?" Ryota began, looking at his sensei.

"Yes, but what I want to know is how a 9 year old got them cause I highly doubt he's from Kumo. People don't just give kids summoning contracts, they couldn't even handle summoning a relatively small summon for a few minutes."

"Soo… a reconnaissance assignment?" Naomi's eyes shown with renewed vigor. This was a mission now, not some silly vacation. They could actually learn something useful. She immediately jumped into possible explanations. "Maybe it's just a minor messenger bird contract, he could be a local post master's son."

"I highly doubt that, they don't give out markings to those people. Only grand summoners get the distinctive arm tattoos and even then, I've never seen a design like his. It's far more tribal than any others I've seen," Yuu answered. "No, this is something much more different."

All three genin turned suddenly serious, paying full attention to their sensei. They had been on a few C-Ranks by now and had discovered that when their teacher started talking like he was now, that it was time to put on your A-game.

"He's moving."

They scattered as only ninja can.

"Hmmm? What are you doing?"

"Go away, I'm researching."

"I'm just wondering what your… oh fuck yes."

"Just shut up and enjoy it then."

Te'telo complied.

The four ninja moved silently as they possibly good, tailing their target. It was still close to the middle of the day still so they had to work with the shadows they were given. Luckily Okafu gave them plenty of material due to the size of the buildings.

They had been watching the kid for the better part of two hours before it seemed that he was finally ready to call it a day and had wondered off into the city proper.

So far they had learned two things

1) The kid liked ramen a lot.

2) He could shovel an ungodly amount of it into himself.

How he stayed so skinny eluded them Genin team but Yuu on the other hand knew several people who could burn extra body fat, carbs, and food to build up or restore chakra. That seemed a little insane though, as all those techniques were rather advanced and the easiest one was from Konoha but the boy wasn't the right body type for those.

Then again, he did have a summoning contract at age nine so he might potentially be some insane prodigy. That could be a problem.

One thing bothered him though. They had, so far, not seen him actually talk to anyone who could be labeled as his care taker or parents. Why was this kid traveling alone? It's one thing to let a young boy wander around without supervision and it's an entire other something to let a kid with a potentially powerful summoning contract just walk around. Either the kid was sneaking away or he was…

No. He just had the thought '_Maybe he was raised by summons'_ but no. That seems like an idiotic plot device for some inane story by an author with no talent. Basically, it was stupid.

Yuu lightly pressed the back of his hands where a small seal lay, sending the smallest of shocks to his entire team. It was an old KUMO ANBU trick used to get a rookies attention. It was basically undetectable. His entire, slightly upset team turned to him from their positions and he motioned for them to converge on him.

When they all grew close he looked at each in turn.

"I just wanted to make this clear, he's potentially dangerous. Do not engage him under any circumstances unless I am there."

"But sensei, he's just a little kid…" Kaede stated with a little disbelief.

He turned a stern eye to her.

"Kaede, there are people in this world who are younger than you but stronger than me. Don't underestimate someone by their age, their appearance or even their rank. A cocky Jounin can lose to a Chuunin."

They all became a little stoney-faced and nodded.

Yuu looked somewhat proud at his students before turn to look up at the direction the kid was walking. His eyes widened as he saw the redhead had turned down a back alley.

"Come on, he's getting away."

They all four sprinted across the rooftops, skidding to a halt at the gap that signaled the alley the boy had turned into. It was…

Empty.

'_But how, he was walking he shouldn't have… unless he's running and in that case…'_

He rounded on his students. "All of you, stand down and stay here for now. He's onto us and he's made a dash for it. I'll pursue him by myself but I won't engage. Understood?"

Naomi grimly nodded but the other two didn't react so well.

"Come on sensei, don't leave us behind!" Ryota exclaimed.

"I can move faster by myself and him detecting us proves he's got some amount of skill and he could be dangerous for you to get mixed up with."

Begrudged, they nodded. It was logical but it still didn't make it feel right.

"I'll return soon." He flickered from sight.

"This is so unfair," was Kaede's statement.

"No, it's the right choice. It's our duty to inspect potentially useful or vital information, for Kumo. We would also slow him down and might hinder him if he has to fight this person," was Naomi's verbal riposte.

"What? You think that kids a spy?" Ryota questioned, using it as an excuse to slide a little closer to Naomi but was stopped when her leg came up and kicked him in the shin.

She still answered the valid question.

"Perhaps, it would be a good cover. An innocent but loud street rat, the only thing is that the tattoo is so obvious."

"Nah…" They all seized up. "Who would make me of all people a spy?"

They all, agonizingly slow turned to find the redheaded boy sitting behind them ontop of the building.

He was grinning like a fox in the chicken coop.

* * *

To Naruto, there were two types of pranks. Indirect and direct. Indirect were the standard wham-bam-thankyou-ma'm kind. He sets a small trap for the target that would either embarrass them greatly or mess them up in some way shape or form. He didn't like to get too physical, as he didn't want to leave long lasting damage. Just teach them a little lesson. Naruto preferred these but because he did them so much it made the other kind so much sweeter when he partook in them.

Direct pranks were ones that directly involved him messing with someone, whether it be through verbal things or maybe even physically leading them into situations where they might stumble into a little misfortune.

Naruto hadn't done much of these before he really started getting the hang of transformations, as nothing was funner than to do these as an entirely different person.

Naruto could smell the trio infront of him sweating and he had heard them talking. People should really pay more attention to birds.

They thought he was dangerous and possibly even a spy. He had told them he wasn't, but they had no reason to believe him so it's understandable if they didn't

"You're not?" the male third of the trio questioned.

Ok, maybe they did believe him.

"He could have been lying Ryota."

"Oh thank you for making me understand my dear Naomi."

"Shut up Ryota."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. This was getting a little strange.

"If you're not a spy, then what are you then?" The other girl asked. She obviously didn't totally believe him, but word games were fun. He did things like this enough with Te'telo and some of the other summons so he wasn't precisely a novice.

"Oh, I'm a lot of things." But sometimes, nothing was more absurd and unbelievable than telling the truth. "I'm the container of an ancient being of immense power that could level this entire city with a swing of one of its mighty tails."

He loved dramatics and by spicing it up a little by overacting it made it totally more believably unbelievable.

"Like Yugito and Bee…" the boy said with astonishment that mirrored the two girls. "You contain a demon!"

Ok, unexpected. He could admit. He didn't consider what would happen if they believed him. Staying quick on your feet was required though with Naruto's lifestyle though.

"You actually believed that?"

Cue massive group blushing. Ahhh, there it was. Naruto was the maestro of messing, the lord of lying and the…

He couldn't come up with any more, but he was plenty of things like that.

He grinned to himself, unnoticing of the blue cage until it already half way surrounded him. Even then, he didn't move.

He just observed it. The cage, which it was shaped like a cage with bars and everything, was made out of what had to be electricity.

"_Raiton: Encompassing Cage_," The boy muttered as a bead of sweat rolled down his face. His arm was placed on the ground, a blue streak streaming across the ground off of it and connecting to the cage that surrounded Naruto.

He observed the thing in wonderment as he silently mouthed _'Cool'_.

"Good work, Ryota."

"Anything for you my dear Naomi."

"I'll cut you afterwords, just keep the jutsu up."

"Oh, so forward!" Naomi sighed.

"Umm, question." Naruto raised his hand like the school child that he actually was, but they didn't know that. "Couldn't I just throw a kunai or something at him to stop the jutsu."

"Yea, if you wanna get fried." The girl who he hadn't learned the name of yet said. "Unless Ryota manually dispels the cage himself, it slowly shrinks when it's not being fueled. It will close in and shock you to death or unconsciousness."

"Whoa…" Naruto looked at the jutsu with new respect. "That is awesome."

Ryota felt slightly embarrassed by being praised by an enemy, one that could potentially kill them all.

"What's your name?" Naruto asked of the still unnamed girl, which caused her to point to herself. This prompted him to nod.

"I'm Kaede."

"Cool, nice to meet ya Kaede." He grinned and it has a tint of mischief in it. "I'm just wondering what would happen if I did something like…"

He stood abruptly and took a step, as if to run, towards the edge of the cage. He pushed off, jumping up, nearly touching the bars.

"This."

They expected a sizzle or something, but none of that occurred. Instead they were treated to the strange sight of a flying snake.

"What the…" was Ryota's statement that summed up the groups thoughts rather nicely.

The snake had soared through the air until it was directly blotted out by the sun behind it. None of them realized until it was too late that the snake was falling right towards Kaede.

Before Kaede could react the snake had wrapped itself around her right arm and around her neck twice. The head was now bobbing beside hers, grinning at the other two genin.

"I bet you didn't expect that."

If that was a real bet, Naruto would have won.

A kunai twirled into Naomi's hand as her eyes narrowed, she apparently decided to ignore her utter bewilderment until later.

"Let her go, or I'll chop you off her." It was a promise.

"Now, now." A hood extended off of Naruto's snake form and he barred his fangs, dripping with toxin. "I wouldn't try that if I were you."

The hood receded and Naruto closed his mouth.

"So, tell me Kaede…" He grinned in the very edge of her vision. It should be noted it's very bizarre to see a snake grin."You like snakes?"

"How did you do that?" the girl mumbled under the snakey Naruto's gaze.

"Do what? Use the little cobra thingies?" Naruto deployed them out and in, over and over again for a second. "Like that."

"No… I mean the…" Her arms were stretched out to both sides, preventing her from being able to reach him and try and wrench him off quickly enough. "Changing into a snake…"

"Wait…"

All eyes turned to Ryota who was looking a bit more nervous than the situation called for, as if something else was…

"You've got the snake contract don't you?"

All three genin suddenly got very frightened for reasons Naruto didn't know.

"Maybe." The snake then shrugged, which should be physically impossible really. Still, Naruto shrugged as a snake.

"So you do have the snake contract." Naomi said.

"No, I said maybe. You do know what maybe means?"

They all stood there in silence.

"Ok, you guys are getting boring now." Naruto said after a minute of intense one-sided staring, lazily looking around. "Sooo… I'm gonna bail before your Jounin sensei decides to come back like you've been waiting for."

Kaede suddenly felt the weight lift off her shoulder and she turned around, throwing a hail of senbon at the boy/snake/whatever.

"Whoa, not even close," a bird on the roof of the building on the opposite side of the street called. The senbon had soared right over his head.

"A snake… and a bird?" She questioned with confusion.

Her teammates stepped on either side of her, both already going through hand seals. They completed at the same time, both letting loose a lightning bolt from their hands towards the bird.

"Whoa!" The animal had slowly rolled to the side, taking human form and patting on his jacket that had a small fire on it. Naruto turned to them with a growl, but already found them leaping across the gap towards him. "Uh oh."

Naruto, as a crow again, tore out towards the edge of the city. A bolt of lightning surged towards him but he dipped down to avoid it. Bolt after bolt flew towards him, making him twist and dive around. He dipped down into an alley after getting tired of the game but they had ran across the walls much to his amazement. Was this a Kumo trick or something? He'd have to ask someone about it later. He saw the light at the end of the alley though that was accompanied by the lake's waters.

"Ah ha! Success!" He sped up to reach it before the crazy genin caught him.

He had just exited out and was diving towards the water when he felt something latch on.

His eyes widened comically as he was pulled backwards by his leg. He turned his head and found the Naomi girl grabbing his talon, she was using her weight to bring him down to the ground.

Naruto grinned as he transformed into a coyote, his talon-now-paw still being held. He increased the size of his form, thusly increasing his weight. He used this extra leverage to spin them mid air to the point where the girl could no longer hold on and they were both sent flying apart. Naruto was sailing straight towards the water with a grin. He didn't bother looking back as a turtle shell formed on him and he took the slowest but one of the more tougher forms he had gotten down.

The team watched the turtle skip across the lake like a stone would over a pond before he popped up one last time and took the form of a fish and plopped straight down into the water.

The entire team was breathing deeply, staring where their quarry had disappeared.

"We could…" Ryota started but had to take in a breath. He had used the most chakra. "Shock the lake."

"Yea, but that would kill him and a lot of other things too."

"Damn…" the boy muttered.

* * *

Where Okafu connected to the water, instead of a beach or something else like that, there was a very small cliff of jagged rocks that held off the waves that threatened to wash up into the city. Naruto found out that scaling up of these embankments was very annoying. The best animal he had for climbing was a monkey that that was nothing more than food for the things that lived in the Forest of Death and pets for anyone who liked cute and furry things. Still, there were a lot of slippery rocks.

When Naruto had finally reached the top he was overjoyed to find some grass to throw himself down on and did as such very happily. He rolled around in it for a few moments to get the water out of his fur when he realized he could just change into a human and it would basically fall off.

After a moment of this, he closed his eyes. He was playing back the previous events. The bad ramen chef, the good ramen that came later, the realization that he was being followed, the baiting and the confrontation. Then of course then came the great escape. Overall very fun.

Though there was something a little peculiar though…

"Who's Yugito and Bee?" He pondered out loud. They had said that they were like him… so.

That meant that there were other demon containers and that atleast two were in Kumo. Naruto should be a little shocked by there being other containers but he knew there were other tailed demons because of the little factoid that the Kyuubi was the bitchiest. So other demons, that had to mean other containers but he had never made the connection till now.

It was a relief in a sense. He liked being unique, but he wasn't precisely alone in that category anymore which was nice.

He breathed out, feeling hot for some reason, and taking off his shirt. The sun had started descending some time ago but it was something else. The air itself felt very hot. The only thing located to his side was a tall wooden fence, but it seemed to be the source of the heat.

It was worth investigating, so he left his shirt laying in the grass and walked towards the fence. He would later regret this.

He hopped up onto the fence and for a split second got to look over it and found a pool full of naked women. The next half a second consisted of the board of the fence he was on tipping over and him falling face first into the spring and hitting his hand on the hard stone bottom.

* * *

"Holy crap was that a kid?"

"Oh shit, Naruto."

"Naruto? Whose named Naruto?"

"That kid that just fell in, he's a friend of mine."

Jiraiya's eyes widened as various half-naked women reacted to the blonde boy falling into the pool.

* * *

"Oh my it's just a little boy."

Naruto groaned, trying but failing at reaching the side of his head to cradle it.

"Yea, and we thought it was a pervert."

"Luckily none of those are around."

Naruto groggily recognized that there were several women talking around him.

"Who would put so many seals on such a cute little boy? It ruins him."

"I wouldn't say that, in a few years they will probably compliment his face. He'll look so bestial and exotic. What do they do anyways?"

A round of collective sighs prompted Naruto to half open his left eye. The sun was shining directly into it but the sides were blocked off by several blacked out figures.

"Once a summoning tattoo and the other is too obscure for me to tell." A voice intoned in monotone.

To this Naruto's eyes snapped open, he semi-unconsciously used chakra to help him get over the head wound. He would have reacted further if not for…

"I think we are freaking him out a little bit…"

"Well we are all pretty much naked."

Naruto's eyes sewed themselves shut.

"I'm not looking, I swear. I'm not a pervert…"

"We never said you were darlin'."

"Go get that book of bizarre seals from your bag Yugito."

Naruto's eyes ripped themselves open and he rounded on the only moving figure, a young blonde haired girl that was older than him but not too much. A large seal was present on her shoulder.

"You're a jinchuruki too?!" he said pointing his finger at the girl.

Every woman slowly realized the implication of what exactly he had just said. This is around the time Naruto noticed that many of them had ANBU tattoos and several were wearing headbands in various places. All of them were from Kumogakure and the ANBU tattoos were the ones from there as well from what he could remember from that day in class.

"…" Naruto was sitting in the middle of a group of half-naked enemy kunoichi.

* * *

_**AN: Well ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. It's there for the world to see and I don't feel the need to elaborate on anything. **_


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